Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies
by PierceTheVeils
Summary: No video game is without sin.
1. Everything Wrong With: Episode 1

Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies

Part One: Turnabout Countdown

 **Warning: the following fic spoils the events of Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies in gross amounts of detail. Other games, such as Ace Attorney Investigations: Prosecutor's Path and Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney are also constantly referenced. All games in this series are mentioned at least once. You have been warned.  
**

 **Basically... Spoilers (duh)**

"Running! Explosions! Demolition of state property!"

"Narration" *ding

"Anime episodes in the middle of a video game." *ding

(Athena falls down stairs) "I did that once. That's a couple of broken bones, possible broken neck, dislocation, certain unconsciousness then and there and... Woah. Gregory Edgeworth's a bailiff?" *ding

"This bracelet was placed _over_ Apollo's bandages. The next tense person to walk by will further break his wrist, and it will be _his fault_." *ding

"Murder mystery game tells us who the culprit is cliche." *ding

(Juniper gives Athena an orange) "Last I checked, food was not allowed in the Detention Center. This gesture might be sweet, but Ms Woods would have had to hide that orange from the police. Which is a really stupid reason to break the law." *ding

(Apollo falls down) "Casual unconsciousness in the defendant lobby. Again. Did that need to be a tradition? I don't think that needed to be a tradition." *ding

"Judge has not aged since the first game. He also doesn't have a name. At this point, I think he's an AI. Calling the theory now." *ding

"Gaspen Payne's hair." *ding

"Gaspen Payne's name." *ding

(Athena insulting Payne) "M-rated game refused to let an 18 year old use swearwords." *ding

"Athena's superpower includes emojis, mental imaging, and reading her own mind." *ding

(She breaks down) "Hero suffers from unknown past tragedy cliche." *ding

"Athena had to submit a petition to take over the case. Phoenix just walks in and shouts Objection because... Phoenix Wright." *ding

"Also, how long was he waiting out there? Did he just have an ear to the door, waiting to make his dramatic entrance? Was it coincidence? Either way, I'm sinning it." *ding

"This witness." *3 sins

"Ted Tonate. Gee, I wonder what his crime is..." *ding

"A bomb that was supposedly disarmed goes off in a courtroom full of people. You think the bomb specialist did it? Nah, dude. It was totally the high school student!" *ding

"I want to speak like a robot. Because this game doesn't get enough robot interaction later, and needs more mechanical bullshit." *ding

"He got this bomb inside court. The day after a bombing. Is it any wonder this place got blown up the first time?" *ding

"This stuffed animal nonsense seems okay now, but we later learn it was from the case at the Space Center. So... why was the bomb put in a stuffed animal for that case? Did the police _actually_ recover it inside Phony Phanty?" *ding

"Also, Phony Phanty." *ding

(Ad campaign poster) "M-rated game makes jokes about swearwords, but only ever allows one character to swear throughout this entire game. That IS trunked up." *ding

"Those goggles are cool and all, but... Where are his eyes?" *ding

"Apollo is hit on the head with a rock. And already heavily injured. Yeah... That guy is dead." *ding

"I-identified-my-attacker-with-my-blood cliche." *ding

"After five games and three spinoffs of killers abusing the above cliche, the culprit _still_ thinks this is a viable way to cast suspicion on the defendant. Step up your game, murderers!" *ding

"Oh no! It's a bomb scare! With a bomb we watch you literally take apart, put back together, and chew on the wires of throughout the whole trial. The question isn't why anyone would stay and face you, the question is why anyone would flee." *ding

"Payne didn't come back to see his own defeat. Some stay he's still running." *ding

"Apollo has been caught in an explosion, physically assaulted, and fallen unconscious in the courthouse twice. And you people wonder why he wants a leave of absence? Let the man recover, goddammit! It only takes one day in this series!" *ding

 **Total Sin count: 32**  
 **Sentence: getting Trunked Up**

* * *

 **A/N's: So first I posted this on the kink meme, then I edited it and posted on ao3, then I realized I wouldn't be doing much writing (aside from ERB:AA) for a while, and decided to move it over here so you people would have something to look forward to. This fic was written purely for fun and does its best to not reflect my personal opinion of DD (though Turnabout for Tomorrow is my favorite case yet, so I kinda failed on that one).**

 **Also, in shameless self promotion, I would like to direct everyone's attention to my upcoming project: AAI3. I may call it mine right now, but I want it to belong to the fandom, and give everyone a chance to submit their ideas. That can be done here (remove the word dot, put in the real symbol, and remove the spaces before trying to use the URL): docs. google.c o m** / **document/d/1VV_80EEXnlI_lThRrDV0allRDHzeyHRRA49AJH7eR48/edit?usp=sharing**

 **Sorry, that's the only way will let me share the link. A few people have already come in and contributed, but I want as many ideas as possible, regardless of what it is. Thanks in advance for your help, and I'll see you on the far side!  
**


	2. Everything Wrong With: Episode 2

Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies

Part Two: The Monstrous Turnabout

"These animals are voiced by humans." *ding

"A murder mystery game tells us who the culprit is... again. Are they gonna do this for the entire game? Please tell me they aren't doing this for the entire game." *ding

"Also, how did no one hear L'Belle shouting that? We later learn anyone in the hallway would have heard this shit. I thought Jinxie was in the hallway right around this time. Did she show up later or something? Ah, fuck it. I'll just sin." *ding

(To Apollo at the Anything Agency) "This agency has the weirdest employement contract ever. Employee duties include cleaning the toilet, following lawyers around to murder scenes, stealing evidence for them, channeling their dead mentor, defending in court, assisting in magic shows, and babysitting the boss's adopted child. Also, if you get caught in an explosion and assaulted in court the next day, you don't get time off. You hace to take a leave of absence. Yeah, why DOES Apollo still work here?" *ding

"This agency still hasn't changed their name. Seriously, they sound like a team of graffiti artists. Hey, why didn't they make _that_ a game?" *ding

"Apollo is not paid enough to babysit Trucy. Also, Trucy is sixteen. Why is her father STILL hiring babysitters? She's old enough to drive _and_ fuck in most states." *ding

"Jinxie Tenma." *ding

"Hahahahahaha. Demon Lawyer." *minus one sin

"Where is she keeping all those charms?!" *ding

(Discussing the monster craze) "A yokai craze in California. If they'd have gone with Pokemon, this would have made more sense." *ding

"I refuse to believe this scared girl is a wrestling fan. I don't care if her father moonlights as one. No teen daughter is this obsessed with their parent's job." *ding

"Trucy is a jerk to Apollo's wallet. He probably isn't getting paid enough to babysit you, and he SURE isn't getting paid enough to get you souvenirs." *ding

(They find out the Alderman is dead) "Oh look, it's a murder. I could have played The First Turnabout, come back, and still been here in time for the murder to happen. Way to waste time, Capcom." *ding*

"Am I supposed to believe that L'Belle replaced himself with the Mayor, threw the mask away, let Filch out, had Filch run all the way down the manor and throw his costume out the window, cleaned himself up, and they _both_ got out of Apollo's way before Apollo ran up here to check out the crime scene? I think the game wants me to believe that." *ding

"How is Apollo Mayor Tenma's lawyer? He's the Mayor! Surely there are lawyers in Tenma Town. You're telling me nobody would represent the Mayor for _any_ reason? Is it because Apollo is cheaper? I think he might be cheaper." *ding

(Athena throws a cop) "Cool way to introduce Athena, but... That guard is clearly bigger than her. Unless she studied martial arts on top of law and analytical psychology (which, by the way, is impossible according to every law student I know), this is bullshit." *ding

"So... Apollo gets caught in an explosion, assaulted in a courtroom, and has a police officer thrown on top of him? This game is a dick to Apollo." *ding

"Also, he should be knocked out. Or dead. Have I sinned this scene enough yet? I think I have." *ding

(Filch steals the bracelet) "Casual thievery." *ding

(They meet Fulbright) "Athena isn't throwing an annoying police officer at Apollo in this scene." *ding

"This game doesn't even _want_ to acknowledge the potential puns they could make with Apollo _Justice_ and "in _justice_ we trust"? Sin on Capcom for making me do their work for them." *ding

(In regards to Blackquill) "Foreshadowing." *ding

(Fulbright is barefoot) "This shoes thing was funny the first time, but we later learn Bobby Fulbright is an international spy. How did Filch pull this off once, let alone twice? He could have been Masque*DeMask III with this sort of skill." *ding

(Filch stole the shoes and diagrams) "Filch isn't arrested for this." *ding

(Vampire vs. Werewolf wrestling match) "Twilight was so bad, people are still complaining about it in 2027. I can't decide whether to sin this or take away a sin. Both?"

(Finding the Nine Tails mask) "Filch's face as he points at the mask." *ding

"Why is there a crowd for this? You're telling me everyone in the vale is a pro wrestling fan? I'm calling bullshit on this one. It's a mask, people!" *ding

"Also, couldn't this just be a replica? And how did the Tenma Taro costume not also show up in this river? Both were thrown out windows above the river. I doubt the costume would fly farther than the mask. Also, even if it did, it still has to be nearby. How does no one find it? " *ding

"How did L'Belle leave hair after wearing the mask a few minutes, but the Mayor didn't after wearing it... Every match and for the festival that day? Was it for the plot twist? I think it was for the plot twist." *ding

(Apollo jokes about being a wrestler) "Everyone's a wrestling fan in this case." *ding

"Also, wrestling fans." *ding

"How would Mayor Tenma _or_ Alderman Kyubi have the time to be the Amazing Nine Tails? Those wrestlers have to train, and running a town is a time consuming job. Did Tenma ever cancel a meeting because a wrestling match was on? He would have had to at some point." *ding

"Florent L'Belle is a character." *five sins

(Apollo perceives Tenma) "Perceive is back, bitches! Well, for about three times this game. The rest is "Guess that emoji"." *ding

(In the Defendant Lobby) "Apollo passes on his "Chords of Steel" to Athena. We now have two lawyers to make the gallery deaf during trial." *ding

"Also, Apollo is screaming in Athena's face, the girl who recently told him she has unnaturally sensitive ears. Apollo is a dick to those with good hearing." *ding

(In reference to Clay) "Foreshadowing." *ding

"Phoenix doesn't dramatically interrupt this case the many times Apollo and Athena come close to failing, despite being in the gallery the whole time. Are they trying to cut down on their series's mentor ex machina?" *ding

(Fulbright's "justice will ultimately prevail" line) "Justice does win this case, yes. Thanks for the support, buddy!" *ding

"Simon Blackquill" *removes ten sins

"Athena and Simon have similar traumatic cutscenes? Wow! That's _totally_ a coincidence, right?" *ding

(Convincing the judge to do the opening statement) "This works." *ding

(In reference to "alderman fought back" debate) "You know, acknowledging the impossibility of this claim does not take away the "that's not possible" sin. Good try, though." *ding

"When Blackquill brings a hawk in the courtroom, he gets away with it. When I bring a hawk into the courtroom, I get arrested and fined. And they kill the bird. I know he's already in jail, but they could at least cage the bird." *ding

"Also, how did this bird get in? The windows in the ceiling should be closed, and no one opened the door. Is Taka's nest in the ceiling of Courtroom No. 4? And how did it know Blackquill would be here, or when to interrupt Apollo?Birds don't understand Perceive, right? Did Blackquill... I'm overthinking this, when I could just as easily sin." *ding

"Aw dammit, they made the bird adorable, too." *ding

"Filch's testimony." *ding

"He stole the Phantom's shoes _again_? Goddammit, Phantom! No wonder you fail your missions, when you can't even keep track of your clothes." *ding

("The witness will now testify under the penalty of painful bird attacks!") "Hahahahahaha." *removes sin

(Blackquill's three minutes recess) "He gets away with this." *ding

"Jinxie thinks Apollo is a demon, and the Judge is a demon lord. Blackquill? Just needs sleep." *ding

"Blackquill breaking his shackles is cool and all, but dude... When you get out of prison at the end of the game, the state is probably gonna make you pay for those. I looked up the prices on heavy duty handcuffs. Not pretty. Trust me, there are PLENTY of cheaper ways to look badass!" *ding

"We get a Mood Matrix tutorial despite already using the Mood Matrix in the first case. This game does hold your hand." *ding*

(When the duo prove that Jinxie never saw Yokai) "Should I sin the lawyers for shooting themselves in the foot, or retract a sin for Blackquill being awesome? Gah, whose justice is the _most just_?" *half sin

(Blackquill tells Athena to run away and give up) "This is the first actual conversation Athena and Simon have since UR-1. And it's... Actually, really good foreshadowing." *removes sin

"Though I still don't know how he knew she jogged. I highly doubt that was a hobby eleven year old Athena possessed. Lucky guess, or did their psychic connection started earlier than the finale case? The world may never know." *ding

(Blackquill's air sword) "That's not possible." *ding

"Our-killer-could-fly cliche. See what you did, Turnabout Big Top? I hope you're ashamed." *ding

(Mayor's transformation into Tenma Taro) "This works." *ding

"Also, Blackquill plays along with this." *ding

"Climbing-in-an-airvent cliche." *ding

(Blackquill's "share my cell" invitation to Apollo.) "Is he implying what I think he's implying? If so, that beats MY fanfiction." *ding

(When Fulbright shocks Blackquill) "That's not legal. Also, it doesn't look like Blackquill signed up for that. Stun belts were outlawed in the 90s, goddammit! Japan hasn't been this casual about torturing prisoners since World War II." *five sins

(Back at the agency) "How does Athena already know Trucy? She got to America yesterday, and Trucy was with Apollo when Phoenix picked her up from the airport. And even if they had met, there's no way they're on such casual terms this fast." *ding

"How does Trucy know what evidence we no longer need?" *ding

"The magic panties are back. And so is my urge to make perverted jokes about an underage kid. Because she's _not_ old enough for what I'm seeing, let alone what I'm thinking." *ding

"Vamanos." *ding

"Apollo fits in that tiny air duct." *ding

"They disproved the airduct cliché? One sin off!" *removes sin

("Fulbright's "justice prevails once more" comment) "No, Justice's reasoning failed here. Get it right, Fulbright!" *ding

(When Athena calls Fulbright a bad guy) "Dang, Athena called that one when no one else did. One point for Yellow Girl!" *no sin

"Also, Athena is reaching Blackquill levels of psychological manipulation with this guy. Is it any wonder he frames her for murder later? Just saying. She kinda had it coming." *ding

(Blackquill writing Dotard a thousand times) "This scene did not make it in the final version of the game." *ding

(Nine Tails fans storming the detention center) "Nor did this one." *ding

"Fulbright is a wrestling fan. And, by extension, so is the Phantom. Did the WWE sponsor this case?" *ding

(Fulbright calls Athena and Apollo kids) "Athena isn't throwing annoying police officers at Apollo in this scene." *ding

"Athena's sad sprite is her hottest one. That gives me very mixed feelings inside." *ding

(With Mayor Tenma Taro) "Pffft. Peddler of legal trade. Why was this not our defendant from the beginning?" *ding

"Caw." *ding

"Apollo Justice would be great at CinemaSins." *ding

"No matter how often this guy holds his hand out like that, he will never be Matt Engarde." *ding

(Mayor Tenma threw up the key) "Regurgitating key evidence. It did not need to become a cliche." *ding

(Guard's comments about serving the demon lord) "Hahahahahaha." *removes a sin

(Meeting sleepwalking Jinxie) "Wow. Tenma Taro in possessing everyone today. I admit, the Mayor made it look like fun. But now this is being treated semi-seriously. And that is a sin." *ding*

"There is a yokai for everything." *ding

(Jinxie calling Fulbright a ghost) "Jinxie calls it three cases before it actually happens." *no sin

"L'Belle has returned. With blue hair." *ding

(Cellphone's on L'Belles jacket) "Cool, but... What if he wanted to change jackets?" *ding

"Also, how are we still using fliphones in 2027? This was excusable in the first game, when it came out in 2001, but this is 2013, bitches. Get with the upgrades already!" *ding

"Annoying character gets best theme song cliche. Courtesy of Trials and Tribulations, cases 2 and 3." *ding

(Jinxie to Tenma Taro cutscene) "Those feathers clearly did not fall from the demon." *ding

(Talking to L'Belle about blackmail) "Showing the killer incriminating evidence against them cliche." *ding

"Casual destruction of evidence." *ding

"Somewhere in this world, a TV station aired L'Belle's beauty ads. Willingly." *ding

(Enter the Forbidden Chamber) "This is all an M-rated game put in their Forbidden Chamber. They should return that rating right now." *ding

"Demon is personification of a human evil cliche." *ding

(Filch and L'Belle) "Casual witness coaching." *ding

"Also, L'Belle gets away with it." *ding

"Anyone else sick of this investigation? Good. To court!"

"Simon Blackquill is still our prosecutor." *removes a sin

(Hand cream had Filch's fingerprints) "Red herring. Or should I say, red hand cream?" *ding

(Filch is Tenma Taro) "Filch too? Why does _everyone_ want to be a demon in this case?" *ding

"Why was the Foyer-Forbidden Chamber air duct not pictured on this map? Was it all for this plot twist? It was all for the plot twist, wasn't it?" *ding

"L'Belle went to court dressed as the Joker. With a prosecutor who sounds like Batman. Needless to say, things did not end well for him." *ding

(When he sprays perfume in his eyes) "Idiot does to himself what everyone playing wishes they could do to him. At least make it a minigame, Capcom!" *ding

(To Blackquill) "I was about to nail L'Belle. Why does Blackquill have to be good at his job, goddammit!" *ding

"Also… Blackquill? How are your clothes not wrinkled? You sleep in a prison! I doubt they let prisoners near hot irons. Did Fulbright do it for you? If so, check that shit for Tasers." *ding

"Mistaken secret identity cliche. Even the well done ones are still a cliche." *ding

"Lawyer bluffs about having decisive evidence cliche." *ding

"Thought Routes: how to catch forgetful players up to speed without resorting to a mentor ex machina." *ding

(The hair product is decisive evidence) "Villain hands hero the weapon needed to defeat them cliche." *ding

(L'Belle's white hair) "Florent L'Belle does not have- woaaaah. How old is that guy?" *ding

(Blackquill's "hosing with a sprinkler" line) "Hahahahahaha." *removes a sin

"I just noticed Blackquill's demon eyes. EVERYONE wants to be a demon in this case! " *ding

"Acknowledging your arbitrarily ridiculous plot does not excuse the arbitrary ridiculous plot. But again, we applaud you for trying." *ding

"If I were Jinxie, I would _not_ be this excited for my father to run around shirtless." *ding

(Final cutscene of case two) "That's not possible." *ding

"Ending narration." *ding

 **Total Sin Count: 94.5**

 **Sentence: Sued for a hundred million dollars**

 **(plus a stroking flower)**

* * *

 **A/N's: Some of these sins may be out of order. I didn't always have my game on hand while writing. Even though I've gone through it maybe ten times, I still don't have perfect memory of it all.  
**


	3. Everything Wrong With: Episode 3

Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies

Part Three: Turnabout Academy

"Narration." *ding

"Red sky for the sake of ominousness cliché." *ding

"There is no way to drop a pick like that. Trust me, I've tried." *ding

"Game shows you three people who are not the culprit standing over the body (which never happens in the case), just to make fun of how they showed you the culprit for the last two cases." *ding

"'We just killed our teacher' face." *ding

(Gameplay starts) "What sort of school uses church bells?" *ding

"Themis Legal Academy. Law school for high school students. Let's get that sin out of the way _now_." *ding

"School festivals." *ding

"Athena's bottom screen silhouette." *removes sin

"Aristotle Means is a character." *ding

"Also, somebody approved that guy's character design. I'm guessing they were blind." *ding

"The murder weapon currently in Courte's body is also being held by Professor Means, giving me unwanted flashbacks to the MASON system." *ding

"Lawyer is only synonymous with defense attorney in the universe. Wow. This must really annoy prosecutors." *ding

"Mean's smile." *ding

"You want a newly reinstated attorney who got their badge back by changing the system, then _cheating at his own game_ to lecture your students? Were they just going for the controversy factor here, or the plot convenience? My money's on plot convenience." *ding

"Hey, who's head of the prosecutor course? We never meet them, and they aren't special enough to have their own balcony in the mock trial room. Do they even exist?" *ding

"Teachers can be late to class, but students can't. I don't care if it's true in real life, I'm sinning it." *ding

"Wait… There's a proper way to smack the podium? But almost _every_ lawyer in this game does it differently. Were they taught wrong? Why is this a rule?" *ding

"Some goes for arm angles when shouting Objection. Some lawyers don't even point, goddammit." *ding

"The famous prosecutor in this case is not Edgeworth. Thanks for the tease, Capcom." *ding

(Juniper appears) "Juniper is allowed to wear a sunflower with her school uniform. Is it because she keeps her inhaler in it?" *ding

"Also, when I told Capcom I wanted to see a female character in an anime school uniform, this is _not_ what I meant." *ding

"And once again, Capcom makes all their female characters either dead or underage. Here are all the sins I would have given, were it not the case." *five sins

"Athena has been back from Europe for six months. How did she never even attempt to find Juniper until chance reunited them? It's not like she's been busy, most that time. Why is this only coming up _now_?" *ding

(Outside at the stage) "According to this banner, the school has been open since 1960 despite the fact that such schools don't even exist now." *ding

"We later learn this stage will be used in The Guitar's Serenade. Which leads to the question of the court-themed decor. If they're going with that, why couldn't they have sung Guilty Love, or My Boyfriend is the Prosecution's Star Witness, or _any_ of the court themed songs? Guitar's Serenade is virtually the only odd one out that we know of, making this mix up all the worse." *ding

(Upon finding the body) "Phoenix is about to suggest something illegal. After all the shit in the last game, old habits prove to die hard." *ding

"Can't look at a girl's diary cliché." *ding

"Of the five things listed in this planner, two involve meeting with a student, referring to it as important, and calling said student by first name. Despite the implications, game does not include a teacher/student romance. Because that would have been interesting." *ding

"I'm so confused. I thought when they examine something and put it in the Court Record, that's the same as picking it up. If so, they just manipulated the crime scene. I know only one person has ever been punished in this game for doing that, but it's still illegal, right?" *ding

(Phoenix's "fifty shades paler" line) "Fifty Shades of Grey reference." *ding

(In reference to Courte's body) "That blood is neither dry nor moving. They can animate movement if they wanted to, and they already have an M-rating, so what was there to lose (other than believability) by not showing the blood changing at all?" *ding

"School newspapers." *ding

(Apollo shows up) "Hero reports what everyone already knows cliché." *ding

"Fictional murder matches real murder cliché. I guess Professor Means has seen Basic Instinct." *ding

"We hear police sirens after Apollo confirms the police have already showed up." *ding

(Back in Lecture Hall) "They were gonna have classes the same day as their school festival? I've never heard of school festivals before, but I think Themis is doing it wrong." *ding

"Phoenix, you discovered the body too. Why don't _you_ have to talk to the police? In this game, whoever discovers a body is the police's first suspect. You better not he the defendant of this case, goddammit!" *ding

"Athena is surprised at Juniper's change over seven years despite having changed more so herself." *ding

"Wait, they teach students how to be judges? I thought our judges were AIs. Well. There goes my theory." *ding

"That sunflower has no stem, so... how does it stay in her hair?" *ding

"18-year-old in an M-rated game is _still_ not allowed to swear. Even in a high school, where swearing is the native language." *ding

(Hugh and Robin show up) "Two characters who aren't in love with Juniper act like they're in love with Juniper." *ding

"Also, Juniper played the defendant. Wow, I wonder who our real defendant is gonna be?" *ding

" _Three_ lawyers with Chords of Steel?! That's it. All gallery members and judges will be provided with earplugs upon entering the courtroom. This game is a dick to people with hearing." *ding

"An entire high school can only find one girl who wants to sing with Klavier Gavin, their version of Harry Styles? I'm calling serious bullshit on this." *ding

(Apollo talks about Clay) "Foreshadowing." *ding

"Flipping through a book to symbolize intelligence cliché." *ding

"Proof of friendship did not include a threesome. Which is... actually really lucky, because we later learn Hugh's real age, which would have made it statutory rape." *no sin

"Discord sounds like a bad quality speaker." *ding

"Ace Attorney outsmarts Basic Instinct when confronted with the fictional murder predicts real murder scenario by _actually arresting_ the author. Unfortunately for the police, Prosecutor Blackquill, and anyone playing, Juniper Woods is too young to flash her vagina during interrogations." *ding

"Why does the suspense music play at this moment? Anyone who has played the first case already knows she beats the rap for this." *ding

"Um, Athena... Doesn't the client choose who defends them? You can announce she's yours all you want, that doesn't make it true." *ding

"Themis's logo looks exactly like the scale with fire from Dai Gyakuten Saiban. This is a painful reminder that no international fan will ever see that game." *ding

(Klavier returns) "Klavier's back, bitches! Not for any plot related reason, but he's here. See, we aren't ignoring the fact Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney exists. We changed writers directly after and waited six years to make a sequel for _completely unrelated_ reasons." *ding

"We're not dating cliché." *ding

"Klavier loses someone he was close to cliché." *ding

"No, we're not kidding. The last game turned this into a real cliché." *sin on AJ: AA

"After being told he won't be the prosecutor of this case, Klavier decides reenacting the mock trial is the next best thing." *ding

(Klavier with the trial script) "Casual thievery." *ding

"Judge Cykes is a jerk to the defense. Ironic, considering she's a defense attorney." *ding

("Awl is like an ice pick" line) "An ice pick for the murder weapon? This IS Basic Instinct!" *ding

(Mock trial ends) "And that's all the prosecuting Klavier Gavin does. Which is stupid. Blackquill may be awesome, but is there _any_ reason we can't have a prosecutor who doesn't want to kill us? He's clearly not busy!" *ding

(With Means and Phoenix in hallway)  
(The "say by all means" line) "Means is a Dr. Seuss fan." *ding

(At the stage) "Myriam Scuttlebutt." *ding

"Myriam's box wants her to be held upside down." *ding

"There are only three approved places to punch this box from the inside." *ding

(Myriam describing her data collection methods) "That's not legal." *ding

"Hugh's description of himself shirtless does not include decisive evidence. I need you shirtless to solve this case, goddammit!" *ding

"Arrogant dude calls himself humble cliché." *ding

(Hugh admits to seeing the body) "Wait, so Phoenix and Athena weren't the first on the scene? Why didn't you call the police, dude?" *ding

(Robin's "we had a dream of justice" line) "Themis Trio confirmed to be the second Yatagarasu." *ding

"Love triangle parody is set up like an actual love triangle." *ding

"What are visiting hours on the detention center? I swear, they change every case." *ding

(In court)

(Athena's "butterflies have butterflies" line) "Butterfly-ception." *ding

(Athena's thoughts on Means) "I wish he would shut up, too, actually. Unfortunately, he's going to be a character for the rest of this case." *ding

(The line about lawyers smiling) "That was actually Mia's thing, but Phoenix inherited her philosophy when she died in your current workplace. Shame you two haven't met her yet." *ding

"Sure, leave the semi-newbie in charge of the newbie. I appreciate the lack of mentor ex machinae in this game, but still. This cannot possibly end well." *ding

"Hey, how come the defendant lobby number and the courtroom number never match? Does that ever get explained? Or is it just there for everyone to wonder at?" *ding

"First, Blackquill makes the judge deliver the opening statement. Now, he expects the guy to call witnesses. He's getting steadily lazier as the game progresses." *ding

(Fulbright takes the stand with "My friend justice-") "You and Justice are friends? But… this is the second time you two have met!" *ding

(Taka delivers the autopsy report)"Birds now has a real use in the courtroom. Because you know, walking over and handing the evidence to the defense is _so much work_." *ding

"A game with working anime cut scenes is incapable of voicing three badly recorded words." *ding

"Why did Robin and Hugh need dressing rooms? We later see a photo of the mock trial. They're still wearing the same clothes. Was it for the red herrings? I think it was for the red herrings." *ding

"What? No! You can't raise Fulbright's salary! After watching Gumshoe's pay get cut throughout the first three games, I refuse to believe a _convicted murderer_ is more generous than Prosecutors Edgeworth, Von Karma, and Godot combined." *ding

"Our next witness will be this cardboard box. I'm confident we _finally_ outdid from the parrot from the first game. Wait, there's a person in there? ...And Turnabout Goodbyes's record holds." *ding

"How can Myriam keep the box up when she's taking a picture?" *ding

"Judge who recently allowed a yokai to testify finds things like faceless witnesses irregular." *ding

"Judge course uniforms are much more interesting on the lower half. Unfortunately for us, we almost never get a view." *ding

(Myriam's name for Athena) "'Pawn of Woods'. It's what happens when a chess piece and playing card do the deed." *ding

"Witness admits to breaking and entering, as well as illegal data collection. Naturally, these actions lead to no consequences whatsoever." *ding

"Ooh, he just called Athena a canary. That's almost as offensive as canucklehead." *ding

"Also, Apollo is waaay too calm to be on the defense bench right now. He should get an energy drink, fray up his nerves a little." *ding

(Blackquill admitting he knows how to stage a crime scene) "Foreshadowing." *ding

"Oh, sure. We all might _want_ to take a million pictures of Athena for our personal use, but you actually did it, Myriam. And that is a sin." *ding

"Apollo rips off Catherine's argument from Basic Instinct. This works." *ding

"How can Myriam keep that stuff in her box? Does she have a bunch of bags and coat hooks built in there somewhere? I now need to examine her box to solve this case." *ding

"Um, Blackquill? A blade's sharpness is not determined by its wielder's skill level. The defense calls your attention to Exhibit A: my scar marks left over from a free fencing lesson. It didn't end well." *ding

(Robin also saw the body) "Yeah, why does no one in this school call the police? Are kids just not taught about 911 nowadays?" *ding

"Myriam snuck into Juniper's dressing room? That beats MY fanfiction." *ding

"Threatening to kill my mentor's daughter is not allowed. Lucky for me, attacking her with a hawk, showing off my swordsmanship inches from her face, and constantly insulting her maturity are perfectly acceptable substitutes." *ding

"Apollo steals his arguments from Turnabout Samurai, giving further credence to my theory he plays old Phoenix Wright games to prepare for trial." *ding

(Myriam's name for Apollo) "Boy wonder." *ding

"Athena Cykes would be great at CinemaSins." *ding

"The box sweats." *ding

"Woah, why does Myriam need two protractors?" *ding

"Hey, where did Taka go? We saw him fly off, but he isn't with Athena or the judge. Juniper, maybe?" *ding

"How did no one notice Robin's glowing hand during the mock trial?" *ding

(Picture of Robin over Courte's body) "You know, for a non-culprit, both Robin and Hugh get a lot of pictures depicting them as the killer. Only to remind us on what we missed out on." *ding

"Robin's brace make the same sound as internal discord. It's either foreshadowing, or laziness." *ding

"Where is all that pottery coming from?!" *ding

"Juniper introduced herself as a third year student, but everyone else calls themselves seniors, which is the fourth year in the vast majority of America. Math escapes otherwise talented writers." *ding

("I'm a dude! I'm into braces, not dresses!") "I don't know any guys into braces. This comparison makes no sense." *ding

(Athena's hand position theory) "The model's hands do NOT match the photo inside Widget." *ding

("No matter how much I dress up, I'll never be as pretty as Juniper!") "Hahahahahaha." *removes sin

"Woah. Athena just went Legally Blonde on that girl!" *removes another sin

("Have you lost the plot, Athena?") "Replace Athena with Yamakazi, and you have the exact words everyone uttered when he came up with this plot twist." *ding

("I've never met a girl who shouts like a maniac all the time") "Didn't you go to a Gavinner's concert last game? How did you _not_ see any of this?" *ding

"Why does Robin choose this moment to reveal she's a girl? 'Crap! Some perverted, crazy person might actually attempt to check! Ah, fuck it. If I'm going out, I'm going in style!'" *ding

("If you don't believe me, I'll give you a p-e-e-k!") "I do not believe you Robin. Not at all. Please prove your female anatomy to the court for all to see." *ding

"Also, there is no way she kept this secret up to senior year. Two words: locker room." *ding

"My dream job differs from my parent's plan for me cliché." *ding

(Robin pulls out a shoe) "To be fair, this is how all men perceive women. Her earlier personality was how all women perceive men."*ding

"Witness faints in court cliché. Sorry Robin. Vera Misham still holds the record on that one." *ding

"Ha! Birdman!" *removes a sin

(Athena: OBJECTION... Argh!) "Frivolous Objection cliché. That title continues to belong to Edgeworth, but good try." *ding

"New theory: Taka only delivers evidence for you if you scream TAKE THAT! and point at the person it goes to. This doesn't make sense for other games, but it's the best I got. Maybe it's the bailiff's cue?" *ding

"When were you and Athena ever friends, Robin? The two of you met _yesterday_." *ding

(Blackquill's "blade fully drawn" line) "Well, I took this line the wrong way. I blame the Cykesquill shippers. Along with this:

Athena: Oh, you want it? Well, I'm gonna bring it!" *...ding

(Hugh takes the stand)"Meditating in an archery range, huh? Sounds dangerous." *ding

"What school continues classes until 7pm? And if you're gonna tell me it's a Japanese thing, I'm gonna ask why the translators kept it." *ding

"No school is empty ten minutes after the final bell." *ding

"'Secret private chats' with a teacher are not this innocent. Nor this boring." *ding

"AND she's shouting his name?! How is no one else suspicious of this? Myriam _really_ missed out on a scoop here." *ding

"Misheard words cliché." *ding

("The court will note that this is different from the selective hearing men are so good at!") "Hahahahahaha." *removes sin

(Photo of Juniper and Courte) "Cool twist, but... Why does this photo even exist? Who's taking it? Can we declare that person a suspect? No? Okay, then. Penalty!" *ding

(Blackquill's "person you wish to save" talk) "Athena, Apollo, and Blackquill are locked in a fierce competition for who can foreshadow the most finale events. They seem to be neck and neck, and this is Blackquill's newest attempt at pulling ahead." *ding

(The triple confession scene)

"Robin is way too happy to be confessing to murder in this scene." *ding

"Did they just reuse the same character-reactions for each new interjection? Lazy animators are lazy. At least switch the order up!" *ding

(Hugh reveals his bow and arrow to the courtroom) "Woah, he just outbadassed Blackquill! For five seconds, anyway." *ding

"No, I'M Spartacus! They are so lucky this did not end like the source material." *ding

(Back at the agency) "Trucy, no one wants to eat out your magic panties. Do you even _realize_ how wrong that sounds? You're sixteen. How has no one taught you about innuendo?" *ding

(At the Detention Center) "Means still exists." *ding

"Aristotle did not come up with that philosophy. Machiavelli did. Means should stop pretending he knows philosophy and admit he's a diehard Basic Instinct fan already." *ding

"Juniper tries to switch lawyers, invoking the game's tradition of 'disbar the replacement attorney' in next court's session." *ding

"The dark age has been in place for eight years, according to this game. How is Themis just now getting around to adapting? They should have been producing results _way_ before this." *ding

(Discussing the photo) "Photoshop does not exist in this universe." *ding

(Junie's encounter with Hugh)"Wow... Hugh is having secret meetings with everyone in this case. How are their no stories on this?" *ding

"Klavier Gavin." *removes a sin

(As he describes the concert) "No high school allows the use of pyrotechnics at school events." *ding

"Woah. Athena repeated my reaction to the Gavinner's logo verbatim!" *not really a sin

"We later discover the statue of Phoenix Wright was never completed. However, the gold statue of him in London more than makes up for this insult." *ding

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled murder mystery to bring you... Puzzles. And no, this isn't the Layton crossover." *ding

"Apollo wants to come on Klavier like a wrecking ball? That beats MY fanfiction." *ding

"Convenient wire cliché." *ding

(Athena shouting to Fulbright) "Did Athena just have a moment with the guy who killed her mother? I think she just had a moment with the guy who killed her mother." *ding

(The Lady Justice statue) "Destroying a statue symbolizes destruction of an ideal cliché." *ding

"Myriam's new box advertises crime scene cleaner. Somewhere in this world, businesses like this are allowed to exist, and make enough profit to continue existing. This IS a dystopian future." *ding

"Someone burned the Gavinner's banner and wasn't immediately murdered by fangirls? I guess they aren't the equivalent of One Direction." *ding

("...that's one abused laptop.") "Apollo would be great at CinemaSins." *ding

"What could Hugh possibly be busy with? They canceled classes, and he's not on construction duty, if the clothes are anything to go by." *ding

"Fulbright is way too helpful to be a detective on a murder scene. I get he's faking, but didn't he at least pick up on that much?" *ding

("I'd appreciate it if you let me have the cool lines") "Fulbright's reaction to his role in this case." *ding

"The scriptwriters share their thoughts on modern art in this investigation." *ding

"Broken clock cliché." *ding

"The videotaped the mock trial? Why? Is someone buying it? Is Juniper hoping to write courtroom dramas in her spare time and needs this as an audition? Why does this video exist?" *ding

(Robin takes evidence) "This is... Actually, a really creative way to get rid of excess evidence. And it doesn't involve panties." *removes a sin

"Themis has a secret police? This is the weirdest high school ever." *ding

"Is music playing in court a regular thing? If so, that explains the soundtrack." *no sin, because the soundtracks are great

"Wait, the mock trial was a grade? How? There are only three students participating. Does everyone else write a report? Is it a participation grade? How does this make any sense?" *ding

"I thought Juniper was also the judge of this trial. If so... Who's that in the Judge's seat?" *ding

(Juniper's the snitch) "You mean, she can fly really fast and win me a Quidditch match? Sweet!" *ding

"Smart kid is faking cliché. Between this and AAI2, I think Capcom has something against top students. Jealousy, perhaps?" *ding

"Hugh is a zombie in this cut scene." *ding

"Does Means's owl/face pin symbolize Labryinthia or the art team's reaction to his final design? I can never be sure in this one." *ding

(In the defendant lobby) "After discovering he wouldn't be prosecuting this case, Klavier gets his revenge by becoming a defense assistant, a la AAI2." *ding

(Athena and Apollo using their Chords of Steel) "This has become a ritual at the Wright Anything Agency. All billing for hearing aids may now be sent to Phoenix Wright after every trial." *ding

("The Cykes Brigade is ready!") "Athena was extremely upset to learn she'd be the only coworker to not get a game named after her. Eventually, she decided this was the second best thing." *ding

(Hugh's testimony) "'What'cha doing there, Juniper?' 'Oh nothing, just dragging a large mattress around. No reason.' 'Okay. See you in the mock trial!' 'Bye, Hugh!' He could have at least helped her carry it." *ding

("There is only one mat that could cushion this fall!") "How did they check this? Did they find all the mats in the school, drop people from the third floor onto them, and see who got hurt the least? If so, how did we miss this? I wanted to drop Phantombright on the thinnest one, goddammit!" *ding

(Athena proves Hugh was in the crane) "Athena actively helps her opponent. Is anyone still curious why she barely wins this case? No one? Good." *ding

("The defense agrees with the prosecution") "And the universe explodes." *but no sin

"Blackquill offers to strip Hugh down? That beats MY fanfiction." *ding

(Hugh unbuttons collar) "What? Why did you stop there?! Didn't I already tell you I NEED you shirtless to solve this case? Goddammit, Hugh." *ding

"People can become lawyers at thirteen, but have to wait until they're twenty to operate a crane? The fuck?" *ding

"There is no way Hugh's real age didn't interfere with going to school. Two words: locker room. He watched underage boys change on a daily basis for at least one year. Disturbed yet? You should be. Sin on Capcom for making me think about this." *ding

"In this universe, the word 'foolish' is almost as offensive as 'canary'. However, both pale before the ultimate insult, uttered only once by a young demonic Edgeworth... Canucklehead." *ding

"Hugh got the bow and arrow inside this courtroom TWICE?! Are there no rules on what can and cannot be brought into this place? First, somebody brings in a gun, then we find out Von Karma carries a Taser everywhere, his daughter's whip is physically attached to her body, Godot drinks an insane amount of coffee, Trucy sneaks a knife in to kidnap herself with (you know, just in case things go south) ...And you people wonder how you got bombed?!" *ding

"'I can't operate the crane. That's why I was operating the crane yesterday, just before the body was moved.' Is it just me, or does Athena have rope left?" *ding

"Is it bad that I just saw the Themis banners hanging in the courtroom? Is our audience a bunch of Themis students? 'We can't hold classes today, so we're taking an impromptu field trip! Take notes, and watch as a convicted felon tries to put the class president away for killing our beloved teacher. Instead of, you know, mourning her or something. I'm sure your parents all approved.'" *ding

"Blackquill named his sword 'Evidence'. And where does Taka keep flying to?" *ding

"Flying body cliché. See what you did, Godot? I hope you're ashamed." *ding

(Blood on the pottery) "Are you telling me nobody on the police force bothered checking these bloodstains? I know Blackquill isn't allowed to investigate in person, but he's still getting blamed for this shit. And this is a really dumb oversight. So... what's the deal? Is the Phantom _trying_ to make Blackquill lose all the time?" *ding

"Myriam gets away with illegal data collection, sneaking into Juniper's dressing room, slander, _and_ injuring Hugh? Either the police are terrible at their jobs, or Myriam is awesome at plea deals. She should have signed up for the lawyer course." *ding

(Blackquill acknowledges the murder took place during the mock trial) "Who do I sin for this? Athena, for walking into the trap, or Blackquill for ensuring neither Robin or Hugh can be our killer and leaving us with Spartan dude? Why choose when you can have both?" *two sins

(Hugh's "perfect crime") "Not this shit again. We already know you aren't Spartacus!" *ding

("Kneel before my great and maddening intellect!") "Hahahahahaha." *removes sin

("You won't believe this, but I used a body double!") "Hugh has played AAI2. Maybe that's what he was busy with yesterday. I wonder if Klavier was in on it." *ding

("Summon an ambulance this instant. This witness is stark, raving mad.) "Hahahahahaha." *removes another sin

(Blackquill walks out) "Hahaha... Wait, take me with you!" *removes three sins

("How does he get away with that?") "He's Blackquill, Athena. Much like Agent Lang, his badassery transcends all logic." *reviews yet another sin

(Discussing the trial room diagram) "Now that I look at it... Why did Juniper have to walk through the audience in the video? The audio room is right next to the judge's bench." *ding

"Also, are you seriously telling me Juniper's mock trial only lasted thirty minutes, ten of which were taken up by a speech? The verdict was about to be handed down when they got interrupted. The only case to end that quickly in this series was The First Turnabout, and it was more a tutorial than top tier writing. How did Juniper win, exactly?" *ding

(The proof of friendship cutscene) "Aww... this is actually really cute. I think I'm gonna-" (Hugh cries) "Well, he did it for me." *no sin

"Also, how did he get that around his neck? It doesn't have a clasp." *ding

"Wait, are you telling me that testimony was actually useful? I thought they were just trying to get past their writer's block with an 'all our writers are drunk' sequence." *ding

(Blackquill's 'surgeon overlooking symptoms' reference) "Is this Meraktis or Miney? Miney went to prison, sure, but she was a nurse. Meraktis was a surgeon, but he died and never went to prison. So... who is Blackquill referencing here?" *ding

"Means is on the witness stand." *ding

(Means's speech) "Of all the people who tried to sleep through this speech, how was the _insomniac_ the only one successful?" *ding

"What were the first ten minutes of the recording for? We're the teachers using it to take attendance and give everyone their free grades?" *ding

"Means steals the 'I've hid incriminating testimony' and 'offering to be his scapegoat's lawyer' tricks from Kristoph Gavin. Naturally, it does not end well for him." *ding

("End justifies means" "I'm so sick of hearing that phrase!") "Don't worry, Athena. You aren't alone." *ding

"'Can I give Means a Mohawk?' 'Sure! It's not like his design can get worse." *ding

"Where is the chalk coming from? And the board? Does he carry that around everywhere he goes, or just to court? I need these answers to solve the case, goddammit!" *ding

"How long does chalk take to fly? Blackquill's feathers move way faster, and they are a LOT lighter. I guess there's a reason these people went into gaming, and not physics." *ding

(Fulbright shocks Blackquill) "Torturing Simon Blackquill. It gets creepier when you realize the Phantom's the one doing it." *five sins

"Why do we get tests in homeroom?" *ding

(Taka attacks Means) "Bird does what every player wishes they could do. Why is this not a minigame?!" *ding

"A grown man admits to having the bedtime of 9pm." *ding

"They just disproved the moving body? One sin off!" *removes a sin

(Calling the Gavinner's banner a dishcloth) "No one kills Athena for this. Not even Klavier." *ding

("You dare present mere garbage to this court?") "What? It worked for Sebastian. If Debeste can do it, so can Athena." *ding

(Athena's breakdown) "Foreshadowing." *ding

(Robin and Hugh say their piece) "This 'let's cheer Athena up' thing is really sweet, but they met her two days ago. How have they all bonded so quickly in such short time? Does Athena just have that power over people? That's... actually, pretty believable." *no sin

("It would not do to have you disappoint you-know-who!") "Wait... Athena's a Death Eater?" *ding

"Also, Foreshadowing." *ding

("Time to turn me into the likeness of Phoenix Wright!") "Hahahahahaha." *removes a sin

"Wait, she's actually serious? Well. This is gonna be interesting." *no sin

("Wait, you're not into this kind of thing, are you?") "Woah, I was not ready for a joke about bondage. At least they finally earned the M-rating?" *ding

"Also, I'm just gonna assume the judge didn't hear it. That's the only possible way she avoided a penalty for this." *ding

"Apollo gets the job everyone wants by binding Athena into the desired position. Not that I'm into this sort of thing." *ding

(When Means hands over the staff) "Villain gives hero weapon needed to defeat them cliché. Again." *ding

"Athena has some heavy praise for Phoenix Wright. I guess she's like half the players and didn't go through Apollo Justice before coming here." *ding

("Now help me decide the professor's fate!") "Did Athena just break the fourth wall! Goddamn it! They just finished rebuilding after the crossover and you had to come along and shatter it again! Way to go, Athena." *ding

(Mean's breakdown) "I hate this character as much as the next player, but you have to admit... This breakdown is hilarious." *removes a sin

"Also, the same guy to bring you Simon Keyes gave you... this dude. What happened, Yamakazi?" *ding

(Trucy comes in) "Yay, Trucy! And now the obligatory innuendo! Wait, what happened to the innuendo? Trucy, where are your magic panties?" *ding

(The school festival/Guitar's Serenade) "Apollo, your love interest is dressed like your mother, and you're giving her THAT look? I know you don't know, but that's still creepy." *ding

 **Total Sin Tally: 211**

 **Sentence: Homeroom with Professor Means (all four years)**


	4. Everything Wrong With: Episode 4

Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies

Part Four: The Cosmic Turnabout

"Narration." *ding

"Apollo compares the law to terrorism." *ding

(Bomb in rocket detonates) "Something tells me this was not part of the equipment check." *ding

"Also, if the bomb went off where it did in the cut scene, it should have ignited the fuel tank. If it didn't… why the fuck not? If it did, the Space Center should not be standing right now. It should be burnt to the ground." *ding

"Suspenseful music is set to a person walking, carrying another person, and then falling. What a waste of good music." *ding

(Showing us Clay stabbed) "How long is that knife? I'm no expert on spacesuits, but the knife would need to be pretty long (and the killer pretty powerful) to cut through the spacesuit _and_ the body to deliver a stab deep enough to kill Clay Terran. It would also have to puncture deep enough to damage internal organs, seeing as it was never removed, which rules out 'death by blood loss'. And on top of that, they had to get it all in one try, seeing as there is only one stab wound. Why does Athena become a suspect, again?" *ding

"What, no investigation? We later learn important shit came up in that timeframe. Why the fuck was it not in the final version of the game?" *ding

"Guy with supernatural eyesight doesn't see the girl knitting a _heart scarf_ in front of him." *ding

(Starbuck appears) "Long sighs." *ding

(Apollo explains the crime) "Exposition we wouldn't need if we'd gotten to investigate. Was the desire to parallel with Trials and Tribulations _that_ strong?" *ding

"I thought Phoenix Wright was Apollo's hero. So did this Starbuck guy get dual custody for the title, or did he replace Phoenix after the events of Turnabout Trump? I can never be sure on this one." *ding

"I get this guy is depressed, but there is no reason to sigh twice in a row. None." *ding

("Don't stop believing") "Apollo confirmed to be a Journey fan." *ding

"In a game where somebody dies every episode, the writers expect us to feel sadness over one guy's death. This works." *ding

("Thought I was gonna soar like a comet, but I crashed like a meteorite.") "Space jokes." *ding

"Woah... Why does Apollo already have an eye patch? Was it a souvenir from the aquarium case? You know, the one he wasn't even a part of?" *ding

"We're only ten minutes in, and Blackquill already needs to pay for another pair of handcuffs." *ding

(Blackquill offers to give the opening statement) "You mean the prosecutor is doing his job properly? What an unprecedented surprise! I guess he didn't like our comment about him getting lazy." *ding

("Something is off with the two of you today") "Yeah, I think Apollo finally took Blackquill up on his offer to share a prison cell. I'd say it didn't go very well." *ding

(Athena: Does he even HAVE fifty years left?) "One of the writers forgot to put this text in blue. Luckily, Apollo caught their mistake." *ding

"Wait, Fulbright comes after a whistle? Is he a spy, a detective, or a dog? I'm so confused right now." *ding

"Bombs were given the same sound effect as gunshots." *ding

"Why was the second floor bombed? Did the Phantom leave one of his bombs there on accident? Did Filch steal the one in his shoe? The world may never know." *ding

"That knife is not large enough to kill Clay Terran. See earlier rant." *ding

(Fulbright's testimony) "This testimony gets a lot creepier when you realize Fulbright was the killer all along. Fun thing to think about in hindsight, huh?" *ding

(Talking about the moon rock) "Prosecutor claims key evidence is unrelated to the case cliché." *ding

"Apollo is way too calm to be on the defense bench right now. I get he's grieving, but seriously. Go grab an energy drink." *ding

(When Blackquill responds to Apollo's inner thoughts) "Either Blackquill can read minds, or Athena's using her assistant powers and broadcasting it to Blackquill via their psychic link. Either way, there is no way Blackquill should not be able to respond this aptly." *ding

"Does Blackquill really believe Starbuck could have carried Clay's body that amount of distance in a fire? A dead body is extremely limp, and therefore near impossible to move. Furthermore, as far as he knows at this point, _there is a fire_. What possible reason would he have to drag the dead body out, only for the knife wound to be revealed? Wouldn't it have made more sense to leave him in the fire? And then when you think about... I'm overthinking this when I could just as easily sin." *ding

(Blackquill gives Athena five seconds to regroup with Apollo) "Blackquill attended the Manfred Von Karma school of running your own trials." *ding

"Co-counsel is vague to put pressure on the player cliché." *ding

"Apollo steals my argument from a few sins above. Everyone's a mind reader in this game." *no sin

"Much as I'm supposed to dislike Apollo's Kristoph impersonation, you cannot deny it makes him a more efficient lawyer. Maybe he should channel him more often. You know, the non-murdering part of his personality." *still no sin (so why am I talking?)

"I just realized something: Blackquill keeps referring to the bomb case as a coffin. In the first case, we discover that Tonate hid Detective Arme's body inside the case and it was there the whole trial. So... He's actually correct. One sin off for well-done foreshadowing!" *removes a sin

"Wait... They actually DID recover the bomb inside Phony Phanty? Why would the Phantom put a bomb in a stuffed animal? Was the bomb that detonated on the second floor inside a Bum Rap Rhiny? Why was this ever a thing?" *ding

(Blackquill cuts off Apollo's Objection) "Okay, how did he figure out that one? Apollo never put it in internal monologue, so Athena couldn't have passed it on to him. Did their night together create a psychic link? Is that how Athena and Blackquill's developed? If so, that beats MY fanfiction." *ding

("It's like Blackquill's controlling the entire game.") "No, Simon _Keyes_ is the one who masterminded the game. I know both characters were named Simon, but try not to confuse the two." *ding

(When Blackquill calls Starbuck the arch villain) "Wow. He really thought Starbuck was the Phantom... That would have been kinda cool, now that I think about it. Sin for it not happening!" *ding

(Starbuck gives testimony) "Where did the clipboard come from?" *ding

"Wow. He went an entire testimony without sighing? That's amazing!" *ding

(Starbuck puts the helmet on) "We interrupt your regularly scheduled murder mystery to bring you... Buzz Lightyear!" *ding

(Apollo calls Starbuck an octopus) "Octopus character did not make it into the final version of the game." *ding

(Starbuck opens a parachute and tries to escape) "Hahahahahaha." *removes a sin

"Why does the court have a cherry picker on hand? And why does the bailiff know how to use it?" *ding

(Blackquill proves Starbuck was on meds) "Aren't there laws against going into space while drugged? There should be." *ding

"Defendant can't remember if they committed the crime cliché. Thanks, Edgeworth. You've sparked a trend that has and will permanently traumatize several characters to come. I hope you're ashamed." *ding

(Blackquill's "stabbed in a weak spot" explanation) "Cop out explanation is a cop out. That knife is too short to do the needed damage." *ding

(When Blackquill delivers the oxygen tank data via airsword) "Wait, is that how the airsword works? Paper is folded to withstand the air pressure, then thrown to make a slicing sound? That's... Not possible." *ding

"Whoever wrote Starbuck's dialogue loves pressing the "A" key." *ding

(When Starbuck gets fired up) "This countdown is cool and all, but now I'm worried the bomb's gonna go off. The next case chronologically IS Turnabout Countdown, after all." *ding

("Prosecutor Blackquill... You can't hurt me with a broken blade.") "Woah. Apollo just went Blackquill on Blackquill! And now I'm thinking about Quillcest. Thanks, Apollo." *sin removed, then re-added

(Tonate appears) "Wait... Tonate saved everyone's life? Damn! If it hadn't been for him murdering Arme, he would have been the game's greatest hero!" *ding

"Apollo has a death wish." *ding

(Switching to Phoenix's POV) "More narration." *ding

"Main character tells the audience what we already know cliché." *ding

"Wait, is he actually talking to us? If so, that breaks the fourth wall. Goddammit, guys! I _just_ finished yelling at Athena for this! Ever since the crossover came out, the fourth wall is fragile. Stop leaning on it!" *ding

"I've said it once and I'll say it again: this game is a dick to Apollo. First we see him get injured in a bombing, then we see him assaulted in court, then a police officer gets thrown on top of him, then his best friend dies, and on top of all this, _he can't ask for time off_! He has to take a leave of absence, goddammit! Phoenix is a dick to his employee. He can't even leave to work anywhere else because... Wait, wrong game." *three sins

(Athena and Phoenix decide to take over the case) "Don't you need some sort of petition for... Ah, fuck it. I give up." *ding

"Trucy... Stop putting food inside your magic panties! No one wants to eat out of them. And now I'm the one who feels perverted." *ding

(They go to meet Starbuck) "Even after Apollo perked him up, Starbuck continues to sigh like an old lady with a bad back and unfortunate name." *ding

("You're Apollo's mentor, right?") "In Starbuck's head, Kristoph Gavin and Phoenix Wright are the same person. I can see where the lines got blurry, but Phoenix swore off that shit. Sin on you for doing my job for me!" *ding

(Starbuck thinks he knows Athena) "Foreshadowing." *ding

"Athena doesn't understand the difference between comets, meteors, and meteorites. I'd sin, but I don't know what it is either." *no sin

"Quit counting down, Starbuck! The last time you did that, a bomb went off!" *ding

("That's more certain than the theory of relativity!") "Do not compare the certainty of something to a theory. Theories, by definition, can be disproved or altered upon further observation." *ding

("This is the face of the astronaut I know") "But this is the first time you met." *ding

(Starbuck describes the HAT-1 Miracle) "See, this would have been a good use of the music in the cut scene. Too bad it wasn't used." *ding

"There is no way a government facility allowed high school kids near most of the staff. Let's get that sin out of the way _now_." *ding

(They head over to the Space Center) "I looked up a picture of NASA headquarters, and wow. Funding for architecture will seriously improve over the next eleven years." *ding

"GYAXA." *ding

"Damn. Cosmos just made Segways look cool." *removes a sin

("Are you by chance... The space police?") "Game about the space police is not on Capcom's agenda. This is the writers' subtle way of pushing for it." *ding

("Oh I get it! You just wander around and tell people what to do in a self-important manner!") "Athena describes all my previous bosses in one sentence." *ding

"Some people think they're at the center of everyone's world. Cosmos takes it up a notch by declaring himself center of the cosmos. Technically, that's his abdomen." *ding

"Wait, so the Hope Probe arrived the day before the rocket launch, but Clay was holding them with him when he left the rocket. Why? Were they about to take them back up into space? Had they waited until launch day to unload the probe? This makes no sense now, and it definitely doesn't make sense later, when you learn the whole launch was staged." *ding

"Notice how Athena hides Widget from view whenever she lies about her knowledge of the space center. One sin off for cool foreshadowing!" *removes a sin

"Woah, Fulbright is waaay too cooperative to be a detective on a murder scene. That's how you know he's not a real detective." *ding

("Definitely NOT the Fulbright I know.") "Have Phoenix and Fulbright even met? I know about the aquarium case, but without it, this line makes no sense. It's like Capcom is subtly trying to make the players spend more money." *ding

"There are police officers assigned to investigations only to provide snacks and neck rubs. I'm not going to question why they exist, but why was not available during the AAIs?" *ding

"Phoenix admits he can be out-muscled by a short 18-year-old girl with no reservations whatsoever. Where's your pride, man?" *ding

"Scene of Athena in the zero gravity spinney chair did not make it in the final version of the game." *ding

"We use fingerprinting powder in a game without Ema. That's wrong no matter how you look at it." *ding

(Athena talks about the mirror) "Um... Athena? You're not even wearing makeup. This mirror must be for everyone who isn't a hot video game character and doesn't have perfect skin _or_ battle-resistant makeup." *ding

"How did the bullet hole not affect the hologram?" *ding

(Meeting PONCO) "I get the robot is female, but... Did they need to give it breasts? I thought only the perverted male scientists did that! This robot was created by two women, goddammit!" *ding

(At the Space Museum) "In eleven years, robots will replace tour guides. I guess the first case of AA6 didn't get the memo." *ding

"Why did they allow a high school student to pose in the official photo for the HAT-1 launch? And why didn't Apollo get a chance as well?" *ding

("Poor PONCO, what a Dickensian life we're all forced to lead.") "I refuse to believe Phoenix Wright has read Charles Dickens. If anything, Edgeworth read it to him." *ding

(Fulbright collected Athena's prints) "Foreshadowing." *ding

"How does the Phantom being scared about Blackquill cracking down on him only warrant two Psyche Locks?" *ding

"Speaking of, they've been in the Space Center for how long and Athena _still_ hasn't triggered the Magatama? She's outright kept secrets from him several times this episode. They aren't even black here: she _knows_ she's hiding something. Was it all for the plot twist? I think it was all for the plot twist." *ding

(Phoenix proves Fulbright knew about the bombing beforehand) "How did that break the Psyche Locks? Why would the Phantom actively try to hide that he knew about the bomb threat? Was he not supposed to know? I don't remember this being important in proving who he was." *ding

(Fulbright wonders why Blackquill is standing in court.) "You've had eight months to wonder about this. Why is it only occurring to you _now_?" *ding

("The hunt for the phantom of seven years past continues even still.") "This was a really bad thing to say to the Phantom." *ding

"Also, Foreshadowing." *ding

("I feel bad for Prosecutor Blackquill, but I'm gonna be rooting for your team this time.") "Try saying that next case, Phantom. It does not end well for you." *ding

(Meeting Clonco) "Whoever wrote Clonco's dialogue has a thing for pressing the "U" key. I wonder if it was the same person who wrote Starbuck's?" *ding

"Aura Blackquill is female, alive, and above the age of 18. Not to mention awesome." *removes five sins

"Cosmos allowed Aura to come to work in that outfit. I'm okay with that. And I am not okay with that." *ding

"Robot abuse." *ding

("My name isn't Hunk of Junk! My name is Clonco. That's mean, Miss Aura.") "Hahahahahaha." *removes a sin

"What did she take out of his head? I need answers to solve this case, goddammit!" *ding

(Athena's reaction to Aura) "Out of Character-ness for the sake of foreshadowing cliché." *ding

("Robot abuse, hawk attacks... Blackquill family life must be interesting.") "Phoenix Wright would be awesome at CinemaSins." *ding

("Now, do you have any other questions? Oh wait, of course you do. You're a lawyer.") "Aura Blackquill would also be great at CinemaSins. We're completely fine with allowing her to work from prison, by the way. Someone pass this job offer along." *ding

(Aura's "lowering the ladder like the detective told me to" line.) "Little did she know it, but Aura just uttered one of the most iconic phrases of the game. Right after "I'm fine", "Dark Age of the Law", and "phantom of seven years past"." *ding

(Picture of Aura climbing down the ladder) "Aura uses a screw to keep her cat ears up. Because getting a real hair tie in this universe is too much work for both her and Juniper, it seems." *ding

"Also, for someone who supposedly hates lawyers, Aura is being unusually helpful to Phoenix." *ding

"How does Aura know exactly what time the murder occurred at? There's no clock in this picture. 'I just witnessed a murder! Let me take one hand off this really unstable ladder and check my watch.' Because that makes sense." *ding

(Aura zaps Clonco) "Woah! What is in that laser gun and where can I get one?" *no sin

(Clonco goes crazy) "This seems funny now, but then you remember Aura would've had to get funding from the federal government to do this. And people wonder why we have a national deficit." *ding

("Unfortunately, your reasoning abilities are more akin to that of a clever little monkey.") "Aura steals insults from Gaspen Payne." *ding

(Talking about why Aura hates the legal system) "Damn, the Blackquill's are just monopolizing on the foreshadowing market." *ding

(Aura sees Widget) "Are you telling me Aura didn't recognize Athena until this very moment? She kept her hairstyle, the earring, and the love of yellow, and Phoenix has mentioned her name several times. Why did it take Aura this long? Are you telling me the earlier insults were just Aura being herself? I thought it was Athena." *ding

"Person who found the body vs. Person who witnessed the moment of the murder. Who makes more sense as the star witness? I know they have to save Aura for the finale, but this is still bullshit. I get the feeling Blackquill just didn't want to deal with his sister during court." *ding

("That old man is a big liar and a huge braggart.") "Isn't Cosmos her boss? How does Aura get away with this?" *ding

("You mean that whole Dark Age of the Law nonsense? I'm so sick of hearing about that!") "Athena gives a voice to everyone playing the game at this point. God, even the _writers_ were upset with this decision." *ding

(Phoenix getting rid of excess evidence, claiming he doesn't want to be a hoarder) "Um... Phoenix? We've seen you law office. You are definitely a hoarder. But at least the magic panties didn't make an appearance." *half sin

(Athena wants to get Eldoon's noodles) "No, Athena! You only eat Eldoon's noodles when the case is already won! If you do it before, you get accused of murder. Don't say we didn't warn you." *ding

(Apollo says his wounds are fine) "Apollo heals as quickly as Phoenix. Must be the office." *ding

"Mummy Man. For someone who knows who Apollo's mother is, this nickname is doubly cruel. Sin on Phoenix for being a jerk." *ding

"If speech patterns are anything to go by, Apollo visited Kristoph before returning to the office." *ding

"Apollo breaks the no-swearing rule. With damn. That's weak, Apollo. _Weak!"_ *ding

(Scene of Apollo comforting Clay) "No junior high boy cries like this." *ding

(Picture of them as kids) "Aww..." *removes a sin for cuteness

"What is wrong with Clay's nose? He's had that bandage since he was in middle school, goddammit. Is he related to Gumshoe, by any chance?" *ding

"Which reminds me: Gumshoe is not in this game." *ding

(Phoenix wonders if he could be a good role model for Apollo) "Have you played the last game? The answer to your question is no." *ding

(Athena continues to clutch her arm) "For no reason I can think of, I'm going to take a sin off right about now." *removes a sin

(In court) "Why did court start fifteen minutes late?" *ding

("...and then Mr. Tonate self-destructed.") "Ted Tonate is not undergoing eye surgery as we speak. He got his eyes turned into goggles for the police's benefit. The least they can do is pay for repairs." *ding

(Blackquill motions to the judge) "Wow. Blackquill has psychic connections with everyone in this case. And if they developed according to my theory... That is a fanfiction I never want to read." *two sins

"You were not just about to cross examine Detective Arme. She was dead before the trial started. Get it right, Phoenix." *ding

("To make such reckless statements in court takes a bold man... Or a stupid one.") "Um, Blackquill? You were there when he cross examined the orca, right? How does this still surprise you?" *ding

(Blackquill calls Phoenix old) "He's six years older than you. And you look forty. Should you really be making an age joke here? I can see that backfiring on you in a lot of ways." *ding

"Phoenix! Do NOT brag about your experience! The last time you did that, you got disbarred for eight years, goddammit!" *ding

(Cosmos takes the stand) "Who names their kid Yuri? Was he the beaker baby of two lesbians? Or did his parents name him after a famous Soviet during the height of the Cold War? Both scenarios are equally unfortunate for someone growing up in the '70's and '80's." *ding

(Blackquill claiming to admire Cosmos) "He said all this with a straight face? Impressive." *removes a sin

(Cosmos's "said what I meant" line) "'An elephant is faithful, 100% percent'. One the translators is a Dr. Seuss fan. I'm calling it now." *ding

(Discussing the lunar professor inmate) "Who was that supposed to be? And what does Phoenix think we did to the moon? I need these answers to solve this case, goddammit!" *ding

("So she fired two warning shots...") "Into his head." *removes sin for cool reference

"Why did Cosmos hide the fact he was shot at? You'd think he'd brag about this from the get go. (Sigh) Anything to make Phoenix do extra work, I guess." *ding

"Why do they think Starbuck fired the gun? Wouldn't they have found it on his person, were that true? He had the remote switch, after all. If he didn't throw that down the trash chute, why would he throw the gun? The Phantom really missed an opportunity to frame Starbuck here." *ding

(Judge thinks Cosmos is a ghost) "Yuri Cosmos the ghost did not make it into the final version of the game. They could have had a Ghost Trick crossover and everything, but nooooo..." *ding

("He can even pass through walls") "Semi-accurate foreshadowing. He actually passes through a door." *ding

("Your head must have some other use than housing that bird's nest") "Despite this comment, neither Taka, Rifle, nor Sniper ever nest in Phoenix's hair." *ding

(Blackquill breaks his cuffs... again) "How many new hand cuffs does he need to pay for now? He breaks one every trial day minus the finale, so... Eight pairs. Blackquill is being charged several hundred dollars for this single stunt. Behold: the price of badassery." *ding

("You will become but rust on my sword") "People don't rust, Blackquill. Unless they're robots of c- ohhh!" *removes a sin

"Wow. Why is the gallery so much louder in this trial?" *ding

"No way Cosmos is only 62." *ding

(Phoenix accuses Cosmos) "We interrupt your regularly scheduled murder mystery to bring you... Star Wars?" *ding

"Why does Cosmos's angry face look like Bowser?" *ding

(Blackquill complains about the director's elaborate thinking) "Wait, which director? Cosmos, or Yamakazi? This applies to both men equally well." *ding

"Athena has been oddly silent this trial. Is she worried Cosmos might recognize her?" *ding

(Someone stops Cosmos's Segway from spinning) "This is not a cut scene." *ding

(Blackquill got Cosmos's medal analyzed while he was spinning) "Cool, but... How?" *ding

"How does Cosmos know what time Aura witnessed the murder? I don't recall it being mentioned in court. I'm calling this suspicious." *ding

"Also, you know what would be really helpful here? Aura's testimony. They've made Klavier put his older sibling on the stand, so why can't Blackquill do it?" *ding

("It was definitely the silhouette of an earthling!") "Alien killer did not make it into the final version of the game." *ding

"So, both the Phantom (as Fulbright) and Detective Arme shot at Cosmos? The police force really wants this guy to die." *ding

("Director Cosmos, prepare to hand over the secrets of your heart to me!") "That... Is also a fanfiction I never want to read." *ding

("Back in the Matrix it is!") "Obvious Matrix reference is obvious." *ding

(Judge brings up security footage) "Judge gets the silent shame treatment for this despite everyone trying it first themselves AND not telling him about it. This game is a dick to His Honor." *ding

(There is no further footage- be it of criminals or space aliens.") "Wow. The writers _really_ wish they got an alien killer, don't they?" *ding

"What sort of grandfather lets his grandkids watch a murder trial? And how come we never meet said grandchild? Ooh, what if it was Jun- no wait, that doesn't make sense. He presided over both her trials." *ding

(Cosmos is afraid of the Launch Pad 1 door) "Dude, it's okay to have a phobia of doors. I'm sure there's a support group for that." *ding

("Stop chasing your fantasies and face up to reality. Or are you not man enough to, boy?") "Is Blackquill implying what I think he's implying? If so, that beats MY fanfiction." *ding

"Also, for a guy who spends every night in a jail cell, he sure knows how to get around. Teach me your ways, dude." *ding

"Phoenix, you are 34. That is nowhere NEAR old enough to be using phrases like "young'un". Next up: whippersnapper." *ding

"This 'swap the Space Museum for the Launch Pad' theory is cool and all, but... Are you telling me _nobody_ noticed the explosions were coming from the opposite side of the Space Center?" *ding

(Athena suggests a body double was in the video) "After Turnabout Academy, Athena agreed to play AAI2 with Hugh and Klavier. This is the result of that meeting." *ding

("Cut the existential bull or I'll cut you") "Convicted felon in an M-rated game is not allowed to use swearwords." *ding

("I'm a seasoned warrior who has cut down many a prosecutor!") "'Well, before this seventeen-year-old rock star came and cut _me_ down.' Seriously, does Phoenix _want_ another disbarment period? How many mirrors did he break in college?" *ding

(The "number 2 instead of number 1" contradiction) "Phoenix steals arguments from Turnabout Samurai. It IS his third case since regaining his badge, after all." *still gets a sin

(Cosmos's breakdown) "Whoever drew this dude was a serious Mario fan. He even has stars flying off of him, goddammit! Collect those things, people! Before they fall off the screen!" *ding

(When Cosmos leaves a perfect silhouette in the door) "Cosmos is a toon in disguise. Calling the theory now." *ding

"The bailiff is qualified to not only operate a cherry picker, but ride a steed. Standards for bailiffs have gone up since Meekins lost Zak Gramerye, and the series is better for it." *no sin

"How did they fix the door so quickly?" *ding

("Now, now. You know violence isn't the answer, Prosecutor Blackquill!") "The Phantom says this after murdering an innocent astronaut, blowing up a Space Center and a courtroom, and electrocuting Prosecutor Blackquill several times without his consent. He does all this because he left evidence behind after brutally murdering an unarmed woman in front of her preteen daughter. Hypocrite, much?" *ten sins

"I'm a little confused about the Phantom's motives here. If he let Prosecutor Blackquill put Starbuck (who he believes is the Phantom) in prison or just 'strike him down', he'd get away with everything. What does he gain by coming back and accusing Athena, other than giving the heroes the weapon they need to defeat them (and being the third villain of the game to do so)? It can't be revenge: he doesn't have emotions, remember? Looks like he attended the Manfred Von Karma school of inducing your own downfall. He even has the perfect evidence!" *ding

"Why did this game need two pursuit themes? And why is one of them not a rendition of Cornered?" *ding

"Weren't the elevators not working at the time of the murder, due to the explosions? How could anybody have taken the elevator down?" *ding

(Judge looks forward to what the lawyers will uncover) "Are lawyers required to continue investigating after the case reaches a verdict? I mean, _I_ know what happens next, but there's no way the judge knew about it." *ding

"The judge makes words appear out of thin air by blinking. Damn, I wish I had that superpower." *ding

"I just realized: there is a closed window from where the confetti is falling from. How does that even happen? Do they also release confetti for a guilty verdict? That would make the court system an asshole, if it were true." *ding

(Blackquill objects to adjoining court) "Blackquill attended the Quercus Alba school of making the case longer. Doing this is, in part, what caused the entire fifth case to happen." *ding

(Fingerprints are Athena's) "Blackquill kept a straight face saying that? How?!" *ding

(Athena is arrested) "Athena will now begin the female initiation to prove she is worthy to work in the former office of Mia Fey: survive being accused of killing an older female relative who haunts her life for several years after dying and supposedly doing so in a brutal fashion she'll never have the strength to do. I bet she wishes she got the male initiation, where all she had to do was lose her mentor after the first case." *sin on me for joking about this moment

 **Total Sin Tally: 168.5**

 **Sentence: The WAA initiation test (while bigender)**

* * *

 **A/N's: Since I can't reply to guest reviews in PM, allow me to do it here:  
**

 **One regarding Junie and Robin being eighteen: I was referring to when the trio first became friends, which was freshman year. Those girls would have fourteen/fifteen at the time, so it would've been stat rape.**

 **One regarding the bug for the staff: true, I heard it got fixed in the iOS port. but I play on my DS, and wrote these sins as I was replaying.**

 **Thanks to all the attention this has gotten (in one day!), I'll post he finale here later today, and I will see you on the far side!**


	5. Everything Wrong With: Episode 5

Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies

Part Five: Turnabout for Tomorrow

"Where have I seen these cut scenes before?" *ding

(Phoenix's "our past is like the moon" line) "So, it only shows up at night (and the odd day) and can be easily covered by clouds? That doesn't seem too bad." *ding

"I'm really digging this music, but does anyone else think it's a little too upbeat? We just got cut scenes of bloody Athena and Blackquill, Apollo standing in a symbolically broken courtroom, and a mysterious full moon in the middle of the day. They couldn't have gone with _anything_ darker?" *ding

"Athena and Apollo are not yet ghosts, so why is Phoenix hallucinating their presence in his office? Last time he felt that way was when Mia was killed. This better not be foreshadowing, goddammit!" *ding

"Hero recaps what we already know cliché." *ding

"Oh hey, Trucy finally gets quality screen time. It's kinda sad they had to arrest Athena for it to happen, but at least there's a silver lining to the situation." *no sin

(Phoenix sticks to his reasoning) "Good for you, but I'm still questioning how Athena managed to use a broken elevator to escape." *ding

"Hero CONTINUES to recap what we already know." *two sins

("But Athena couldn't have done it. It doesn't make any sense.") "I know, Trucy, but we needed a cool twist to enter the finale with and weren't capable of creating a plausible scenario. But as long as there's no MASON system in this one, it only gets one sin." *ding

"Does GYAXA really allow Starbuck to just run around in that space suit? He's been wearing it for the past six days now, and as far as we know, detention cells don't have showers. Why hasn't he changed clothes?" *ding

"More long sighs." *ding

"I'm already sad over Athena. The game does not need to milk this. Now… excuse me..." *Runs off crying and forgets to press the "sin" button

("So there was never going to be a launch that day?") "I know; I can't believe the government wasted that much money. Especially when they're already so short. They could have least replaced the rocket with a fake. Is it any wonder Cosmos gets fired later?" *ding

"More space jokes." *ding

(Police found nothing in the trash chute) "Why does that mean anything? The gun was supposedly dropped down there six days ago. It's really unlikely _no one_ has taken out the trash since then. Why was this deemed a priority? *ding

"Interrogating a dude who was drugged and semi-conscious during the murder was considered a worthwhile way to waste game time." *ding

"Ten minutes in, and they're STILL recapping shit we already know." *three sins

"So wait: Starbuck's only job today is to stand here and let people in and out? He couldn't have changed clothes, taken a shower, celebrated his acquittal, or do _anything_ a normal person would do in this scenario?" *ding

(Space Museum for tourists to generate money) "Well, yeah, they DID just piss away potentially hundreds of millions at a failed rocket launch. I can see why the Space Center is having financial trouble." *ding

(Phoenix finds the dead leaves) "Are you telling me those leaves have been there for six days? I thought one of PONCO's jobs was cleaning. The area was never roped off by the police, so how did it miss this shit?" *ding

(Fingerprinted scanner discussion) "I get the culprit wouldn't need to scan their prints, but they still need to press a button, right? You're telling me they didn't leave any prints on this thing? Even if the culprit was wearing gloves, why does _no one_ try to check? They're clearly willing to waste time on this investigation!" *ding

"Why did they need to go back out to the entrance? I thought they were headed to the Space Museum." *ding

(Trucy throws the knife) "Why doesn't Trucy get a bubble when she screams TAKE THAT? It's not an assistant thing: Maya was able to scream HOLD IT several times in the first three games. Between this and her screen time, the game is a real dick to Trucy." *ding

"Also, she outbadassed Blackquill by throwing a knife that cuts more than hair. Just saying." *removes a sin

"Phoenix didn't know his daughter took up knife throwing? What kind of father is he?" *ding

"It has been... Three minutes since Phoenix recapped what we already know. New record!" *four sins

"Why is Clay Terran's profile still say Age: 23 and not Deceased? He's been dead for almost a week now." *ding

"So... Clay broke into his mentor's locker, drugged him, and actively participated in a fake rocket launch? If he hadn't died, he would have been in a lot of trouble right about now. The government does _not_ like it when you piss away their money on a fake rocket launch. Forget fired. I'm surprised Cosmos isn't criminally charged for this." *ding

("How is he able to spin around like that?") "Phoenix Wright would be great at CinemaSins." *no sin

"Hey, what is Trucy doing this whole Psychelock segment? Can she see the locks? Why does no one else, say Maya or Pearl in the second or third game, ever help Phoenix with this shit? Is there a reason he's on his own here? What would happen if someone were to walk up and talk to them at this time? Why does magic have no rules in this universe?!" *ding

"Incident-that-happened-x-years-ago-is-related-to-today cliché." *ding

"Why does Phoenix feel the need to recap what we literally JUST figured out? This game does hold your hand." *ding

(Cosmos explains the story behind HAT-1) "Telling this story requires the screen to lose color." *ding

("You couldn't even smuggle a withered old leaf through the checkpoints!") "Is this foreshadowing, or general non-creativity? Either way, I'm sinning it." *ding

(Trucy describes her perception of spies) "Trucy Wright confirmed to be a James Bond fan." *no sin

(Trucy calls Blackquill a ninja) "No Trucy, he's a Samurai. The two are literally opposites. Are we sure this game was made by the Japanese?" *ding

"The Hope capsule was destroyed? All the more reason for it to NOT have been carried around by Clay Terran during a fake rocket launch, instead of, you know, being taken to a secure location outside the Space Center. We can add "losing valuable space resources" to reasons Cosmos was fired and should have been court marshalled." *ding

"Also, why do they _still_ suspect Athena of this crime? She's too young to be their spy, and as far as we know, she had absolutely no opportunity to bug Cosmos's phone. How does the case even continue after this point?" *ding

"As revenge for Phoenix's sabotage of his own legal experiment for selfish purposes, Edgeworth decides to not tell Phoenix about Blackquill's innocence the whole time he was planning to retry UR-1. Despite all the development his character has gone through, old vindictiveness proves to die hard." *ding

"How did Juniper get into the Space Museum?" *ding

"Oh, I get it: she told Starbuck the plot required her to lay down some much needed exposition on the players. He understood her plight and must have let her through with no trouble." *ding

"Wait... Juniper claims Athena lived IN the Space Center here, but in the trial, Blackquill says he took Athena home to the Cykes Residence. So... Which is it?" *ding

"Character trains hard and travels far to avenge their parent's death cliché. A twist on the usual, but the core remains. She's pretty much the Anti-Edgeworth at this point." *ding

"Also, I just realized the Reminiscence theme for UR-1 is Athena's theme slowed down. Why does the game do that and why is it effective?" *no sin

"How does Trucy know UR-1 took place in the robotics lab? Juniper never mentioned it." *ding

"And now that her mandatory exposition session is over, Juniper will not be seen for the rest of this case." *ding

"Why would detention hours end now? It's the middle of the afternoon!" *ding

(Fulbright lets Phoenix question Tonate) "Fulbright is way too cooperative to be a detective talking to a defense attorney. Why is no one suspicious of this dude?" *ding

"Tonate's helmet has the ability to sweat. It was produced in the same factory as De Killer's transceiver. Calling the theory now." *ding

"Oh hey, someone got Tonate new goggles. One sin off for police decency!" *removes a sin

(Phantom follows up on Tonate's claims of another bomber.) "Why would the Phantom do this? Wouldn't he _want_ to frame Tonate as the bomber? He's basically handing Phoenix another weapon he needs to defeat him. Between this and arresting Athena, I'm beginning to think he wants to be caught." *ding

(Fulbright sends the Wrights away) "Wait, so we don't get to talk to Athena after coming to the Detention Center for the express reason of seeing her? It was all just a setup for us to find out about Tonate? If we were allowed to listen to his interview, we should be allowed to listen to Athena's. Arbitrary linear drawn out plot is arbitrarily linear and drawn out." *ding

"Apollo waits until we're forty minutes into the finale to show up. Someone is a dick to his fangirls." *ding

(Aura is flirting with Apollo) "First of all, he's fourteen years younger than you. Second of all, everyone thinks you're lesbian. And third of all, you don't flirt with me too. What the fuck, Aura?" *ding

"I love how no one ever considers Aura a suspect despite her hatred of human values, being the only witness to the Terran murder to not yet testify, and _outright stating_ she'd rather kill people than use the courts. She could have just as easily thrown the knife in from outside the room, and would have had a much more sensible escape route. Also, being much older than Athena, she could more plausibly be the spy from seven years ago. Why does no one ever think of this?" *ding

("Or should I say, former subordinate?") "When did Apollo quit? I mean, if he did, I can't blame him. He's been abused as an employee ever since Phoenix hired him for legal defense. Why is this treated like such a horrible thing?" *ding

(Aura: Phew. All this laughing has worn me out.) "Aura Blackquill is Calisto Yew in disguise. Calling the theory now." *ding

("Maybe Apollo is possessed by Clay's ghost.") "This doesn't happen." *ding

(Phoenix: And I'm a spirit medium!) "Wait… that WMG was true?!" *ding

(Aura: How perfectly foolish!) "Is she Yew or Von Karma? Now I'm not sure..." *ding

("Miss Aura was MUCH younger then.") "Hahahahahaha." *removes a sin

("The new navigation companions created by Miss Aura and Doctor Metis transcend humans!") "Awww... Too bad they don't transcend death instead." *no sin

("...and almost as much as she loved you.") "Awwwwwwwwwwww..." *removes another sin

("So Dadddy's gonna figure out who killed Dr. Cykes too.") "I know I skipped other typos like this one, so let this be a sin for all the translation errors and typos in the game." *ding

"It's been five seconds and Aura hasn't insulted anybody." *ding

("Doesn't a selfish little princess always have lots of white knights hanging around?") "I know Blackquill is pale, but both you and him look half Asian to me. I wouldn't call him a "white" knight." *not really a sin

"Also, this conversation is what inspired a lot of Cykesquill shipping, despite the fact Athena was eleven when these events went down." *that gets the sin

("That settles it then." "What?" "None of your business.") "Foreshadowing." *ding

(Aura starts choking Clonco) "...How?!" *ding

(Clonco kicks them out) "How is Aura _not_ our villain? She even has minions, goddammit!" *ding

("Apollo lost Clay, just like Aura lost Dr. Cykes") "Wait... Claypollo confirmed?" *ding

("He's usually not all cool and dark and mysterious like that!") "Trucy just said these things about her older brother. I don't care if she doesn't know, that's still creepy." *ding

(She runs back into the Space Center) "And with that, that's all the quality screen time Trucy gets. A whopping fifty minutes in a twenty-five to thirty-hour game." *ding

"Maya wrote Phoenix a letter, confirming her continued existence." *removes five sins

"Maya looks awesome in 3D." *removes another sin

"Pearl Fey makes a pointless cameo, meaning I can only retract one sin on account of her appearance." *removes another sin

"We get to question Blackquill? Sweet!" *removes one more sin

(Aura has "another plan up her sleeve") "Is foreshadowing the ONLY way the Blackquill's know how to communicate?" *ding

"I love how Blackquill's theme hits right now. This game has really good music, and this is one of the few times it was used well." *removes a sin

("This is blade proof glass, right?") "Hahahahahaha." *removes a sin

"Wait, we finally get to talk to Blackquill outside court, and it only last for three minutes? After ALL the time this investigation wasted, it glosses over one of the best parts?!" *ding

("Kinda like if red Mr. Lawyer were to kill you") "This better not be foreshadowing." *ding

"How does Phoenix add something he hasn't physically seen to the Court Record? And why were we using VHS tapes in 2020 _or_ 2027? Are we sure this isn't 1997?" *ding

(Fulbright says the UR-1 reporter was male) "Lotta Hart has no role in this game, despite the ability to make an easy cameo." *ding

("His execution date is tomorrow.") "Woah. Why did this bomb take over an hour to drop?!" *three sins

"Fulbright's ringtone is neither his theme song nor that of the Steel Samurai." *ding

(The robot revolution) "We interrupt your regularly scheduled murder mystery to bring you... Battlestar Galactica." *no sin

"Also, you know your game is insane when the robot revolution is a _sideplot_ to your main story. Just saying. It's like they're trying to _outdo_ time traveling evidence or something." *still no sin

"How come Apollo wasn't taken as a hostage? Or Juniper? Last we knew, both were in the Space Center. When did they leave? Did Aura let them go or something? Why let Juniper go? She was Athena's best friend, after all. But no. She only kidnaps the young girl closest to Phoenix's heart in a non-romantic way. Way to perpetuate clichés, Aura." *ding

"Also, after making fun of the 'assistant gets kidnapped' cliché in the last game, Capcom plays the AA tradition straight in this one. Way to lose progress." *ding

"I get why Aura would deliver messages through Clonco, but... Did it need to look like her?" *ding

("Fools! How could you fall for something so cliché?") "Aura is just as big a troll as her brother. It's...actually, really funny." *removes two sins

"Trucy remains calm and helpful in the face of a kidnapping. I'm guessing Phoenix trained her after all the times they nabbed Maya. That may seem insane, but she knew what she was getting into when she became Apollo's assistant in the last game. Smart girl." *removes a sin

"Also, how are there only twelve hostages in an entire space center? Does that include Starbuck, Cosmos, and Juniper? I know there was a murder recently, but there should be more people on scene at a government space center, and at least _one_ of them should know how robots work. How did Aura ever pull this off? Was she planning to hack the Space Center this whole time, just in case her brother chose death? That's an insane amount of preparation for a… okay, I'll sin it already!" *ding

"Also, does she fits the definition of terrorist? I think she fits the legal of terrorist. Good luck getting a reduced sentence in that trial." *ding

"I love how Phoenix takes any time at all to realize Aura is the hostage taker. She foreshadowed herself and everything." *ding

"Wait... If the finale wasn't an official trial, how was Blackquill ever freed? The verdict wouldn't be legally binding, right? I want to ignore this, but... no, that's a sin." *ding

(Pearl assists in the investigation) "If one considers Athena an assistant, then half of all the female assistants in the series got to be a part of this case. Even Maya helps out, in her own way. Kay and Ema really missed out." *no sin, just me rambling

(Miles Edgeworth cut scene) "Wow... His office has gotten a lot nicer since the AAIs." *no sin

"Also, Miles Edgeworth." *removes twenty sins

"That's right. Miles Edgeworth is back, bitches! The Great Revival plays, and all is right in the world of Ace Attorney. Except, you know, Athena's arrest, Apollo's unknown status, Trucy's a hostage, Blackquill might die, something something international spy... You know, your usual finale problems." *ding

(Edgeworth's been Chief for almost a year as of December 2027) "Wait, Edgeworth was made Chief Prosecutor AFTER the Jurist System test trial? How did the hell did it go through then, let alone _not_ land Phoenix in jail for how badly he screwed the courts over?" *ding

"Why was Edgeworth so cooperative with Aura's demands? Did he order her to take the hostages, and _that_ was his plan to reopen UR-1? That's not legal. See, this is the problem with all the heroes' plans in this series. Every single one of them relies on circumstances they couldn't have _possibly_ predicted. Athena was supposedly trying to reopen UR-1 all along, but she clearly hasn't been successful. Blackquill's been trying to hunt the Phantom down, but he had no way of knowing the Phantom would once again strike at the Space Center, let alone take the form of someone close to him. Sure, there was the moon rock, but it was only enough because the Phantom tried to get it back. And then when you think about the last game, with Phoenix... Seriously, why are villains the _only ones_ _capable_ of proactively getting what they want in this universe?! No wonder Apollo imitates Kristoph! It's the only way he knows about to get shit done! Goddammit, game! You- (The rest of this rant was cut off for your convenience)" *but still ten sins

(Edgeworth gives Phoenix evidence) "Edgeworth is way too helpful to be a Chief Prosecutor in this series." *ding

("He insisted he did it, but never said why.") "Game draws unfortunate parallels between Simon Blackquill and Kristoph Gavin." *ding

"Why would Blackquill be suspected of spying? Where is the evidence? Lack of motive does not mean "invent your own"." *ding

"Wait... Did Edgeworth just become Phoenix's assistant for the investigation? If so, that is awesome." *removes a sin

(What Aura wrote on the Judge Tron) "Aura is either terrible at poetry or she recorded her meeting with Redd White onto this robot. I can never be sure on this one." *ding

"Also, why does the Judge robot need to look like her? How vain is this woman? Did she get funding to make this, or is this something she just does whenever she has spare time and parts? And who the fuck let this woman work for the government?" *ding

(Phoenix says he can picture Aura gleefully tearing down the street and wrecking buildings) "Scene of Aura gleefully tearing down the street wrecking buildings did not make it into the final version of the game." *ding

(Clonco's "we never know what Miss Aura will do if we power down" line) "…It isn't possible to rape robots, right?" *ding

"Despite being seventeen, Pearl has not lost any of her naive nature. Is it from growing up in a cult, or laziness out of the writers? Make no mistake, I still love her but-" ding

(Phoenix claims robots might be more human than Edgeworth) "Hahahahahaha." *removes a sin

("You asked me to prove Blackquill's innocence, right Edgeworth?") "Wait, what? So... He already knew? Damn it! I forgot Phoenix grew a poker face! That was a really good way to fool the player." *no sin

"Ooh, he was with Edgeworth on the phone in the opening cut scene? One sin off for cool foreshadowing!" *removes a sin

"By Phoenix's definition, the Dark Age of the Law has been going on at least since IS-7, the earliest case excluding Dai Gyakuten Saiban's. The only reason the public thinks the dark age started eight years ago is because they finally realized how shitty everything would be for them, should they be accused of a crime. They've finally awoken themselves to their dystopian future, and you all think that's a bad thing?" *ding

"Despite Phoenix confirming Aura's homicidal urges towards Athena, she's never once considered capable of either murder. See earlier rant." *ding

"After almost an hour and a half into the case, we finally get to talk to Athena. I think that's the longest she's gone in this game without physically being onscreen." *no sin

"Also, she looks hot as ever. Not at all like she's been crying." *still no sin

(Athena explains why she was at the Space Center) "You know, for someone who's innocent, this has to be one of the most ridiculous alibis yet. There is literally no way to prove any of this is true. Thanks, Athena. You couldn't have waited one more day, to do your reminiscing? Or one less? (Sighs)" *ding

(Athena thinks she could've killed Clay) "Weren't you there when Aura said the murder happened at 10? You were out until noon. I don't know how you checked the time then either, and you can't prove anything, but YOU, at least, should know you're innocent, if not how implausible it would be that you stabbed a shallow knife deep enough through the right area of Clay Terran's space suit to give him internal organ damage on the first try. I cannot get over this, and Capcom shouldn't either." *ding

(Athena talks about her Mommy issues) "Wait, so... out of everybody, Blackquill was the only adult who was there for her? That's just sad. Seriously, is it any wonder she became so attached to Blackquill beyond all reason?" *no sin, because I'm busy crying

"Athena's eyes change from grey to blue over the course of seven years. *ding

"Wait, if Metis left Athena with Widget, and Aura built the bodies of every project they worked on together... Does that mean Aura built Widget?"

"How did Athena get news about the hostage situation? Phoenix hasn't told her yet. Does the Detention Center have news, did they let her surf Widget while she was waiting around? How is this happening?" *ding

"Also, who questioned her? It couldn't have been Blackquill: her trial would have been the next day and he would have been dead. Our only other known possibilities are Klavier Gavin and Gaspen Payne. For Athena's sake, I'm hoping it's the former." *ding

("Unlike now, when he's more twisted than a basket of snakes.") "Cool simile, but… why would you put snakes in a basket?" *ding

"Also, why is it whenever a parent dies in this universe, they're sent off to relatives and not the other parent? Even if Athena's father was divorced, he'd still get a chance at custody, right? See, this is how the unfortunate "Kristoph is Athena's father" theory surfaced. Thanks, Capcom." *ding

(Athena explains why she's no longer reserved and depressed) "And with that, Athena Cykes proves herself to be a stronger character than Miles Edgeworth and Diego Armando combined. Take that, bastards." *removes a sin

"I know Phoenix is trying to comfort Athena by lying here, but he lives in a universe where all obstruction of truth is seen as morally wrong. He just committed Ace Attorney sin and must be duly punished." *ding

("It's very difficult to interrupt a trial once it's underway!") "Hahahahahaha. I'm sorry, what universe do you live in? Not this one." *ding

(Aura makes Athena her defendant) "Two things: one, why did she wait this long to drop the bomb? Did she attend the Shelley De Killer school of Being a Kidnapper? Second of all, does she not know Phoenix's record with defendants? I thought she wanted Athena found guilty. Then, if you put my two points together... (Gasps) For someone who hates lawyers, Aura is _ridiculously_ series savvy." *removes a sin

(Screaming a certain word) "No." *ding

(The Psychelocks hit) "Wow. _Everyone_ wants to be Kristoph Gavin today." *ding

(Pearl explaining the Black Psyche Locks) "Who came up with this, and how the heck does it make sense for Kristoph? Did anyone ask Takumi, or did they just play AJ:AA and say 'hey, those things look cool! Most of our audience will never play that game, so who cares if we make shit up?' Because _that_ seems legit." *ding

"Also, who did research on this phenomenon? This seems like a really rare scenario, so how'd they get a decent sample size? I'm not sure this study was peer reviewed, Pearl. You may not want to trust it." *ding

"Pearl is seventeen now, so she inherits Maya's exact poses! Seems logical, right?" *ding

"How are there people in the gallery? Isn't that where most of the rubble fell? Also... how did they gather up an audience this fast? Are there seriously people who just sit around at their district courthouse and watch random trials, as if they're some kind of show? That's messed up... and something that I would honestly do, if put in this universe." *half-sin

("Court, or some facsimile thereof, is now in session.") "Judge sasses the crazy hostage taker threatening to kill a dozen people. I can't decide if that's hilarious or stupid." *in the end, they cancel out. No sin

"Edgeworth? What did we JUST say about sassing the crazy hostage taker? Yours wasn't funny, either, so sin." *ding

"I've got a drinking game for you: every time a character says the phrase "Dark Age of the Law", take a shot. If any of you are alive by the end of this case... see a doctor. Your alcohol tolerance demands further research." *ding

(The cut scene) "Threatening to permanently traumatize someone who went through the very same situation as myself requires the removal of my glasses. Maybe if the girl is blurry, I won't see her crying right in front of me." *two sins

"Beginning the trial requires the sun to shine through a cloud. Which makes me wonder what they would have done, had it been raining." *ding

("It's going to be hard to convince anyone of that when I barely believe it myself") "If Yamakazi replaced the word "believe" with "understand", he'd have done the smart thing and thought longer on the Phantom's true identity. Too bad he didn't." *ding

"Edgeworth... it's okay. You can put your glasses back on now. No one will judge you for it, but we _will_ judge you for A) wearing glasses when you don't really need them, or B) misreading key evidence and making stupid arguments because of it. Either way, this is a sin for manly pride." *ding

"I love how this trial starts with testimony from the culprit. No really, it's a nice change of pace, and makes me really appreciate the work the writing team did to break down series stereotypes. Now if only they picked a better culprit..." *ding

("Dr. Cykes was so intent on her research, she forced her daughter to undergo experiments.") "That's... actually legal. Metis Cykes was Athena's legal guardian and can consent to her daughter's participation in experiments on her behalf." *two sins

"Phoenix spends any time at all thinking about whether or not he will bluff about something." *ding

(Aura: I'm gonna start charging for each glance, per eyeball.) "Well, I took this line the wrong way. Of course, Phoenix doesn't help:  
Phoenix: Stingy, stingy. What happened to the age of free previews?" *...ding

"Phoenix Wright says the words "woman of science", in reference to someone that is not Ema Skye. That's wrong no matter how you look at it." *ding

"If Clonco's head comes off when it "feels" enough surprise, then Aura would have been the one to program it. So... why is she surprised by it doing this? And how does it perfectly rejoin with the body? Either this is a really convenient design flaw, or Aura is a genius at programming useless things." *ding

(Edgeworth presents Blackquill's surcoat) "Those bloodstains are amazingly red, considering they're seven years old. Also, are you telling me Blackquill has more than one of the exact same surcoat? He was arrested the day of the crime, so when did he get the one he's currently wearing? It clearly has no bloodstains." *ding

"Phoenix Wright continues the tradition of calling non-human witnesses with five letter P names to the stand during the finale. An oddly specific tradition, to be sure, but always an entertaining one." *no sin

"Again: judge who recently allowed a yokai, an orca, and a faceless witness to testify finds things like testifying robots irregular. It's been eleven years: why do these things _still_ surprise him?" *ding

"Wait... so if both the defense and prosecution are in agreement, the judge will allow ANYTHING to happen in court? What would happen if they agreed to call in strippers and asked them to demonstrate their actions on the night of the crime? Could this happen? Why has no one tried it yet? Need I remind you you already have an M rating?" *ding

"Even after all these years, Edgeworth still has problems getting witnesses to say their name. It's... actually really funny." *removes a sin

"Judge's grandchild who recently learned his own name was earlier brought in to watch a murder trial. That kid has some irresponsible parents." *ding

("A murder committed right before this little girl's eyes! It's inexcusable!") "The judge is not referring to Athena." *ding

("A cross examination is never useless.") "You uselessly cross examined and orca five months ago. How have you _already_ forgotten about it?" *ding

"Edgeworth uses the power of his imagination. I am now resisting the urge to make a SpongeBob joke." *ding

"Why is no one questioning how a small girl could skillfully operate a heavy sword and stab it into someone's chest from her height with no problems? Not to mention grab hold of a katana under adult supervision? This is even less plausible than the last case, goddammit!" *ding

"Wait a second... The indictment against Athena is murder in the first degree. But Edgeworth claims she killed her mother in the heat of the moment. Isn't that second degree?" *ding

(Blackquill appears) "This is awesome, but... how did he get in here? Need I remind you he's a prisoner? There's no way he heard about the trial going on, broke out of jail, and got here without any problems. Did Edgeworth call him as a potential witness? Is he here on another case? The world may never know." *ding

"Why does the Japanese weeaboo believe in a Greek afterlife?" *ding

"Also, how do the Blackquill's have this conversation when both are on the same witness stand? They don't need to push or shove for this one. Is it so hard to animate the man and the robot together?" *ding

(Athena shows up) "Okay, how did _Athena_ know what was going on?! Don't tell me she was waiting outside the door or just sitting in the gallery: she's the defendant of this case. No way were the bailiffs (who are now competent enough to operate a cherry-picker and ride a steed) letting her move freely. And how did she get to the bench that quickly? Ah, the world of lazy/under budgeted animators. I think some of their financial griping made it into the final version of the script." *ding

"Athena claims her life has been just as hard as the man who was unjustly thrown into prison and put on death row for seven long years. That's insensitive, even for the purpose of point making." *two sins

"I love how Athena doesn't even need to make a speech here. Yamakazi can just recycle old dialogue to make the point for him." *no really. I'm not sinning this. Though I probably should...

(Blackquill says he killed Metis to save Athena) "Clearly, Blackquill has never heard of Child Protection Services. I know this is a lie, but why does no one notice how illogical this is? Edgeworth, I'm looking at _you_." *ding

(They find the contradiction in Blackquill's testimony) "Wow. He held out a while." *removes a sin

(The infamous "Athena covered in blood and smiling" photo) "Gyaaahh!" *finger gets stuck on the sin button

"Okay, okay! You deserve your M-rating! No more!" *in the end, only one sin was obtained

(Athena screaming) "No." *ding

(Simon insists Metis loved Athena) "This... is actually a really sad and touching scene. Sin on the game for making my job hard to do!" *ding

(Edgeworth allows Athena to testify) "This is the move that allows Athena to be proven innocent. Edgeworth is either a genius, or remembers the details of his own trial AND T&T's finale well enough to try and apply it here." *removes a sin either way

"Edgeworth's voice." *ding

"How does Edgeworth's "different weapon irrelevant theory" make any sense? We're basically back to the short knife debate from the last case, this time replacing "space suit" with "breast tissue". Athena's are definitely thick enough to deflect a blade, and she had to inherit them from someone. If a knife stabbed her in that area, she would have been injured, sure, but not killed. Her _boobs_ would have saved her life, because the space between that area is this little thing called BONE, something a utility knife cannot cut through. This argument may be awkward to present in court, but Phoenix, of all people, would have been the guy to try it." *ding

"Also, did Phoenix really just save Athena's life with art? If those handles had been plain, she would have been fucked." *ding

(Rearranging the tools in the photo) "How does this work? Is everyone just picturing this is their heads? Do future photographs move on command? Am I asking too much of a video game with spirit mediums, magic bracelets, and three-day trial systems? Why yes, yes I am." *ding

"Screaming." *ding

"Game tricks you into thinking it's about to end, only for the hero to give himself a pep talk and Keep Pressing On cliché." *ding

(The Thought Route) "Phoenix out-logics Edgeworth in this scene. Do I remove a sin for awesomeness, or add one for out of character-ness?" *does the former

(Edgeworth realizes he's been out-logicked) "More screaming." *ding

(Athena's breakdown) "Wow. The writers _really like_ screaming. I'm suddenly concerned about the working conditions in Japan." *ding

(Her locks fly off) "Was that the easiest Psyche Lock segment of the series, or the hardest? Eh, long as she doesn't get Kristoph hair, I'm cool with it." *half sin

(Aura's confession of love for Metis) "Gotta admit, the pinching hands and smiley evil face did _not_ help in the delivery of this message." *ding

"Phantom theme sounds like a track from the James Bond movies." *removes a sin

(Taka smuggled the psych report into prison) "Bird smuggling evidence of Interpol cases into prison has become an actual threat. Is that the weirdest sentence I've ever typed in my life? Why yes, yes it is." *ding

(Apollo stops the verdict) "Woah! ...How is _everybody_ able to time their entrance exactly right in this case? How long was Apollo just waiting outside the door, ready to interject right as Athena gets declared innocent? Also, why would he do that? Maximum dramaticism? Assholiness? The world may never know." *ding

"Also, Apollo attended the Quercus Alba School of not letting the game end, in addition to clearly visiting Kristoph. Apollo is smart, and realizes the only way to get anything done in this universe is to be the villain and put pressure on the heroes. Which was Simon Keyes's... Okay, how long was Apollo hanging out in that prison?" *ding

"Why is Apollo the only lawyer here smart enough to NOT sass Aura? I mean, good on him, but sin on everyone else." *ding

(Apollo discusses the initial investigation of case four) "You know what would have been an awesome segment? This investigation. No, Capcom. I am not letting it go. You had absolutely no reason to leave it out." *ding

(Apollo claims Athena doesn't need a motive) "This argument seems like bullshit, but in The First Turnabout, SL-9, The Lost Turnabout, Turnabout Big Top, Recipe for Turnabout, Turnabout Trump, Turnabout Serenade, Turnabout Airlines, Turnabout Reminiscence, _and_ Turnabout Countdown, the killer's motive didn't exist until minutes before the murder, if at all. The ultimate Ace Attorney fanboy knows this, and is absolutely right at this juncture." *removes a sin

"Also, Apollo as an enemy." *removes another sin

(Edgeworth praises Apollo's argument) "Edgeworth does not try and hire him then and there, removing any chance of AA6 featuring Prosecutor Justice. Because that would have been awesome." *ding

(Phoenix's new escape route) "I could bullshit this, but I'll let the characters handle it:  
Edgeworth: You're-  
Apollo: Freaking-  
Judge: INSAAAAANNNE!" *ding

"Edgeworth pokes holes into the theory...by suggesting another escape route. Not only does Yamakazi create a ridiculous scenario, he _openly admits_ there was a more logical solution available. I can't decide whether to laugh or sin this." *does both

"Apollo finishes Edgeworth's sentences mere minutes after meeting the guy. And he wonders why he gets shipped with everyone." *ding

("AAAAAH! You've gotta be kidding me!") "Phoenix says what every player is thinking in regards to the Phantom's identity, making my job useless." *ding

("Damn it! He had me completely fooled.") "Apollo is the only one in this game allowed to use swearwords. Is this the game's way of making amends with their treatment of him?" *ding

"Apollo asks Athena to hit him, giving my mind some very bad ideas. I blame the JustiCykes shippers." *ding

"Athena likes it when people accuse her of murders, as well as the bondage from two cases ago? Just how kinky is this girl? And just what else do I need to do?" *ding

(Aura begins to cry) "And she's cute when she cries?! She _is_ Franziska in disguise!" *no sin

("I still can't wrap my mind around Detective Fulbright being the Phantom.") "Don't worry Athena. You aren't alone." *ding

(Edgeworth uncuffs Blackquill) "Cool moment, but... Are you telling me he had the keys on hand this entire time? Did he know Blackquill would be able to randomly show up in court at the perfect time just to be declared innocent? If so, how? Is Edgeworth magic? That would explain the convenient lack of rules for his character, but-" *ding

(Phoenix offers for Apollo to stand on the bench with him) "Apollo's hesitation may seem weird, but you have to remember: the last time he and Phoenix were on the bench together, he convicted his mentor with forged evidence. He's got the right to be worried, here." *ding

(Cutscene with Apollo removing bandages) "Cool image, but... Are you telling me he was walking around bandaged for three days with no reason? How did the hospital agree to that shit? What did Apollo even say? 'Bandage my arms, I wanna look cool!'?" *ding

"We're about to reach the most epic level of the game, but first... The hero must recap shit we already know." *ding

(Fulbright shows up) "Alright, writers. Time to have as much fun as possible before we take his mask off. Let's do this!" *no sin

"Apollo threatens the Phantom, the guy who murdered his best friend, with... a dictionary." *ding

"Mixed things up in a mirror cliché." *ding

(Blackquill let's Apollo use his bracelet) "Dual Destinies officially redeemed the series enough to lift the embargo on all things AJ:AA after six years of denial. Way to go, Capcom! *removes a sin

(Lighter is a gun) "What?! That's insane! Next thing you know, keys are gonna be knives, and... _ohhhh_..." *ding

(Phantom accuses Athena of everything) "Okay, I can see shooting Cosmos and killing Clay, but where did the bombing come from? Where's the evidence of that?! It's the same thing you did to Blackquill! Come on, Phantom, reusing the same tricks is just gonna make you look MORE suspicious!" *ding

(Blackquill quotes Kristoph) "When did these two ever meet? Kristoph was kept in Solitary Confinement, and the most they could have seen each other was in passing. What is the point of this reference?" *ding

(Fulbright and Apollo insult each other's character designs) "Either the scriptwriters felt the need to waste time, or two members of the art team got a hold of the final script after a fight. The workers at Capcom are almost more interesting than the game, at this point." *ding

"How long do forensic tests take when court is in session? I swear, it varies by plot." *ding

("An under-the-covers investigator? That sounds less than wholesome to me.") "Hahahahahaha." *no sin

(Phantom is worried he might be shot) "Foreshadowing." *ding

(Phoenix complains when Athena takes the bench) "Hypocrite. Last time you were a defendant, you did the same thing!" *ding

(Athena and Blackquill team up) "Yes! Our telepathic connection is finally useful in a case! I KNEW that one-night stand would be worth it!" *no sin

("How many of those toys does he have? And where can I get myself some?") "Stop stealing my lines, Phoenix! I thought only Kay did that!" *ding

"Fulbright attended the Damon Gant school of laughing with several different vowels. Seriously, the only characters to ever do it in this series are clowns, villains, or both." *ding

(Blackquill slashes down the Phantom's ninja star) "That's right! There's only one person allowed to wield sharp objects in this courtroom, and that person is Simon Blackquill. Take that, Phantom!" *ding

(Phoenix and Blackquill team up to end the Dark Age) "I'm sorry, can we make this scene less subtle? Wait... What do you mean that isn't possible? Of course it's possible! Our seeds of mistrust aren't actual seeds yet." *ding

(Phantom put moon rock in Hope Capsule) "And no one noticed the added weight when they launched the HAT-1 into space? No wonder the mission went to shit!" *ding

(Fulbright's off-kilter emotions) "Why do I get the feeling this started as an animation malfunction?" *ding

(Phantom and Blackquill are about to fight it out and) "EDGEWORTH?! How is it that after _everyone_ else makes their entrance at exactly the best moment, you manage to choose the WORST? Did you just not get the memo or something? Goddammit, Edgeworth." *ding

(Bobby Fulbright is dead) "Cool twist, but... Why the fingerprints? Aren't those the first things people use to identify a body? Why did this take a year? If they'd have said DNA, they could have avoided this sin, which makes it three times worse." *so three sins

(Phantom removes mask) "Sweet trick, but... How is he changing his hair?" *ding

(Phantom becomes Means) "Really? You can impersonate ANY character of the game, fuck, any character of the series... And you choose _him_? What a waste of prosthetics." *ding

(Gets rid of the Psyche profile) "Why the chomping noise? Did he eat the evidence? But... that's Phoenix's thing!" *ding

("F... Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge!") "Fuck tease." *ding

"Also, frustrated adult in an M-rated game is not allowed to use swearwords." *ding

(Phoenix's Objection plays when he's still talking) "Again: why do I think this started as a malfunction?" *still removes a sin for coolness

(Phantom becomes "Phoenix?") "Phoenix says it better:

Phoenix: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!" *ding

("Could this trial get any more insane?") "Well, we could shoot the... Oh wait, we do that later. Never mind." *no sin

"Wow... How did Athena keep track of that earring all these years? I lose my earrings all the time." *ding

(The triple Objection point) "That is not the order those lawyers were standing in seconds ago. I hate to laugh at the cool, but they clearly planned this moment." *can't bring myself to sin it

(Phantom's breakdown) "Wow. The animators had way too much fun with this. So did I, actually." *removes a sin

(Phantom screams no) "Whoops, sorry. Had to get one more in before the game was over. Don't mind him." *ding

"It's suddenly nighttime in this shot, but we return to court, the sun is at the Judge's back. What the fuck?" *ding

(Athena is acquitted) "Okay, NOW where is that confetti falling from? This courtroom has no roof." *ding

(Out in the defendant lobby) "Case is over everyone! Now... Time to shiptease! Don't you agree, Athena?  
Athena: Ah, the complicated love/hate relationship between two lifelong rivals!" *but no more sins. Go enjoy the credits.

 **Total Sin Tally: 159**

 **Sentence: bill for the HAT-2 launch**

* * *

 **A/N's: And we're done! I probably won't do Reclaimed, don't forget to submit AAI3 ideas to the doc in the link, and I have to go study for finals. See you on the far side!  
**


	6. A Question From the Author

**Hello, and congratulations, you've reached the end of Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney Dual Destinies. I actually finished this joke review some time ago, but I was rereading and it got me thinking. What if someone did one of these for every game?**

 **Now, that's a huge undertaking (not that I'm against those, with AAI3 and all), and it isn't about to be completed right away. That's why I'm gonna take it slow, one game at a time.**

 **But that opens up another can of worms: how am I gonna decide what games to do in what order? While I recently finished SoJ and would love to ride the hype train, I also see the appeal of going back and working in order. But what order? Chronological order? Release order? Order of personal favoritism? Do I include DLCs?**

 **Eventually, I just decided to ask you guys two questions: first, do you want me to come back and pick apart Turnabout Reclaimed (And Turnabout Time Traveler, whenever I go through SoJ)? Second, which AA game is next? All titles are fair game, including AAI2 and DGS. Leave your answers in a review or PM, and may the most popular choice win!**

 **Thanks for sticking around, everyone! May the odds be ever in your candidate's favor!**

 **Much love,**

 **PierceTheVeils**


	7. Everything Wrong With: The DLC Case

Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies  
Special Episode: Turnabout Reclaimed

 **Warning: This review now contains spoilers for the newly released Spirit of Justice, in addition to all the other games mentioned in the warning on Episode One. Nothing specific, but you have been warned.**

 **So... Spoilers (duh)**

"Game turns case that didn't make the cut for the arbitrary five episode limit into a way to make more money... even though The Cosmic Turnabout and Turnabout for Tomorrow could have easily been combined into one episode, leaving room for this one. Unnecessary cut from main game was unnecessary." *ding

"Narration." *ding

"Can't Phoenix just go back to being a lawyer because it's the only job he was remotely good at? Does he _really_ need an 'unfinished business' motive here?" *ding

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled murder mystery to bring you... Seaworld? In an alternate universe where they give a shit about their animals? That's... actually kind of nice." *only a half-sin

"How did they get a mustache on Orla? And how does it remain attached to her body? I need these answers to solve the case, goddammit." *ding

(Apollo and Athena ignore Phoenix) "These two are a dick to their employer, which is not good business practice for someone who wishes to keep their job." *ding

"Who gave Athena control of the remote? And why do these people keep a TV in their office? This game never answers the important questions." *ding

(Sasha shows up at the office) "Damn. And I thought Phoenix had spiky hair." *ding

"You experienced space jokes in the last two episodes, now it's time for some sea puns. Seriously, which writer thought these were in any way fin-ny?" *ding

"I know I'm late to the party asking this, but why is murder the only kind of crime these people ever take on? Are you telling me Larry's never needed Phoenix's help in evading sexual harassment suits, or gone to trial for stalking? Are other crimes somehow not as funny in this world? Is murder more common than I think it is? This never gets explained." *ding

"Why did Sasha come here to find Phoenix Wright when he hasn't been practicing for eight years? I know he just got his badge back, but this is lucky as fuck. What if he'd still been disbarred? Is there any reason (other than plot convenience) Apollo's not the guy she's looking for?" *ding

"Also, Apollo is left out of this case because... reasons." *ding

"What aquarium in their right mind allows penguins to run loose on the premises? Rifle might be fierce, but no way is she not getting lost or stolen." *ding

"Fake Fulbright is the detective of this case. Playing the finale before this one has given me the sudden urge to strangle him, which is one more reason that option should not exist." *ding

"The defendant of this case is an orca. No one who plays this game will be that surprised by this, but it does merit one sin for being crazy as fuck." *obligatory sin given

"No one will let Phoenix forget about the parrot from the first game. Much like Leia and her bikini, it will haunt Phoenix and his character for the rest of this franchise's lifespan." *ding

"Autopsies are not only performed in the case of homicide. Even for this game, that is bullshit." *ding

"Sasha thinks splashing Phoenix with a water cannon is an appropriate way to thank him for taking Orla's case. She is incorrect." *ding

(Fulbright reveals the decisive evidence) "The Phantom sucks at being a detective. Unfortunately, Blackquill isn't as cruel as Edgeworth, Von Karma, or Godot when it comes to detectives' wages, so this error goes unrectified." *ding

(Sign advertising feeling of electric eels and feeding piranhas) "That's not legal. At least, not without a waiver it's not. Why is this aquarium still open again?" *ding

(DePlume calls Phoenix "blue boy") "Norma calls him this, despite Phoenix never once blowing his horn to the sheep in the meadows." *ding

("Well, whatever you are, I don't have the slightest interest.") "Then why did you ask?" *ding

(DePlume's floating scarf) "Between this and the next two games, I'm starting to think one of Capcom's artists has a fetish for floating cloth. Calling the theory now." *ding

"Rapping." *ding

"Game implies relationship between Pearl and Marlon Rimes. Between this and the magic panties, I think they're trying to put me on a watch-list of some sort." *ding

"Athena is bad with animals. It's... actually, really funny. " *no sin

"Also, Pearl Fey." *removes a sin

(Explaining how Phoenix and Athena met) "Game teases fascinating prequel that has yet to exist. And no, I'm not talking about Dai Gyakuten Saiban." *ding

"Much as I love Pearls... are you telling me the only way they could get her into this case was to make Phoenix's Magatama run out after ten years of that never happening the same day she just happens to be in the same building on a summer camp field trip? And neither person knew what the other would be doing? If so, fuck this game." *ding

"More rapping." *ding

(Pearl and Marlon's calendars) "Mixed up identical items cliche." *ding

"How does Phoenix show the camera footage to DePlume when he doesn't physically have it on hand? This series has ten games in it, and we're still no closer to learning how the Court Record works than we were in 2001." *ding

(How DePlume got into the aquarium) "Casual trespassing." *ding

"If Fulbright doesn't care that DePlume told Phoenix what she witnessed, why was it ever a secret? Was it so Phoenix could use the Magatama one more time?" *ding

(Blackquill considers taking the case) "Why do I get the feeling this was less about him seeing merit in the case and more about getting out of prison for a few hours to laugh at crazy lawyers? Because that is the only reason anyone sane would entertain this bullshit." *ding

"Athena stands on an obviously marked spot in the orca pool and is surprised when the orca responds." *ding

(Getting hit by the volleyball into crates) "Also, she survives this. Unharmed." *ding

"Referencing Sharknado." *ding

"Swimming with an orca? I'll take it. Swimming down to the bottom of a 65 foot pool and staying down there long enough to collect all the coins with no gear on in one try? I'm sinning it." *ding

"No, Phoenix. Defending Orla in court was not your idea from the start. It was Sasha's. Get it right." *ding

(Court begins) "Holy shit, they actually convinced a judge to preside over this case? How did they ever... you know what? Fuck it. I'll just sin." *ding

(Phoenix comments on Athena's dark circles) "Athena has no dark circles to speak of. She looks hot as ever." *ding

("They say he never conducts a trial without his loyal hawk Taka by his side") "As of this case, this is Blackquill's second time appearing in court wearing shackles. While true, this statement implies he prosecuted other cases that were not included in this game. And that is a sin." *ding

("The question is whether that soul is painted in black of white") "Or they could be Simon Blackquill, and painted in both." *ding

"TV phones. Is there any reason these people can't just get smartphones already? I don't think there is." *ding

("The Great Grief of the Great Thief") "Did DePlume write this book about Mask*DeMasque, or the Yatagarasu? I can never be sure on this one." *ding

"How does the hat stay on Orla's head underwater? Wouldn't it just float to the top?" *ding

"Word Mistress." *ding

"Incident x years ago is related to today cliche. For the second time this game." *ding

"Those people in the gallery are the stillest fucks imaginable. Was it really that hard to animate them occasionally moving? Or even slightly alter their appearances and seating arrangement each case? *ding

"Why did no one question how the victim entered the pool until now? Did they all just assume he was hanging out 65 feet underwater for no reason? Jack Shipley is secretly a merman. Discuss." *ding

(DePlume's breakdown) "Game does not give player full view of DePlume's wardrobe malfunction." *removes one sin

(Blackquill cuts Phoenix's hair) "This trick is awesome and all, but... how come it never got Apollo? He strikes in the same place for each person. Those horns should be gone." *half sin

"Marlon Rimes is the closest any character comes to swearing in this case. In an M-rated game." *ding

"Even more rapping." *ding

"Judge doesn't know what hip hop is by 2027, even though it's been around since the 1970's and would have existed when he was growing up. Is the judge older than we think he is? I can't tell, because he hasn't fucking aged since the first game. Is there ever gonna be a case that ends in his retirement? Because that would be an awesome finale." *ding

("Please refrain from scattering fish on the witness stand!") "But... why did he bring the fish to court? Did he have it sitting up in the gallery with him? Why are there no rules on what can and cannot be brought into the courtroom?" *ding

"Casually presenting hearsay as testimony. Also, Rimes gets away with it." *ding

"How does Sasha not know whether the crash or the scream came first? They were by no means immediately consecutive. As the security footage proves, they would have had to happen at least ten minutes apart for the prosecution to be correct. So this is some bullshit." *ding

"Also, is there any reason we can't call the guard as a witness? He might remember the sequence of events. Did Capcom just not want to design another character for this case? If that's the case, why even mention him?" *ding

(Orla's lifesaver trick) "This needed a cutscene." *ding

"Blackquill is tasered for not responding right away, despite the many times he does the same thing with no consequence." *ding

"Also, torturing prisoners." *five sins

"Updated autopsy report cliche." *ding

"How is the height of the fall so specific from examining the body? Is that a thing in autopsy reports? I don't think that's a thing in autopsy reports." *ding

"Game changes defendants halfway into the case, a la The Cosmic Turnabout and Turnabout for Tomorrow. If this case can be one episode, so can they." *ding

"Phoenix asks Apollo to clean the office, but when we come back, it looks the same as before. Apollo is bad at his job." *ding

"The police hand suspect's medicine to their lawyer for delivery after seizing it from her home, because fuck privacy. And the Fourth Amendment." *ding

"Hickfield Clinic is still open and serving patients. Hope they at least got rid of their fake doctor problem." *ding

(Dr. Crab) "This guy's hair is a literal bird's nest. Hilarious, but how does Sniper not get tangled up there? She is moving completely freely." *ding

"If DePlume is still investigating the incident from a year ago, why has she already published a book on it? Is she a nonfiction writer or a reporter?" *ding

(Norma DePlume singing) "This needed a musical cutscene." *ding

(Athena singing) "What is this, a musical? I know they already released three in Japan, but this is just rubbing it in our faces." *two sins

"Hasn't DePlume been coming to the aquarium frequently in the past year? How did she never learn about the songs being changed? I know they needed to set up a plot twist, but this is some bullshit." *ding

"Also, how did she get a hold of the aquarium's financial records? That doesn't sound legal." *ding

(Trucy pulls out the forensics kit) "Wait, so they're not gonna pull the white powder joke on Athena like they did on Apollo? Darn it. This game ignores all the Apollo Justice, even the good stuff." *ding

"What happened to Pearl's summer camp? She gets lost in the aquarium, questioned by the police, and... the group just leaves her there? That was their last event? I need answers to solve this case, goddammit." *ding

"Why is there a paper map at the bottom of the orca pool? And why is it intact? This never gets explained." *ding

(Pearl is eager to start "forensicking") "Pearl is so happy to be looking for blood, I almost mistook her for Ema. Which reminded me: Ema is not in this case." *ding

"Dr. Crab has time to be sarcastic in a medical emergency." *ding

"In order to operate the switch to move the hoist, you have to move Phoenix to the opposite end of the pool from said switch. Seems logical." *ding

"I just noticed the wanted poster advertising Marlon Rimes as a criminal. That is some subtle, well placed foreshadowing that I am genuinely willing to take a sin off for." *removes one sin

"Checking the vomit of an orca is in no way graphic. In an M-rating game, this unrealism grates on me more than it should." *ding

"Medicine capsule did not slightly dissolve in Orla's stomach even hours after ingestion. Does medicine not work how I think it does?" *ding

("But with orcas and dolphins, there can be communication of the heart.") "Just orcas and dolphins, though. No other animals. Damn, Athena is specist about her heart connections." *ding

"Athena entering the courtroom through an open ceiling was not included in the final version of this game. Even though the finale took place in a courtroom with no ceiling and she had the perfect opportunity." *ding

"Blackquill is allowed to investigate in person for this case. I'm not sinning it, but I am sinning the fact he wasn't allowed to do so for any other cases." *ding

"Game thinks allowing a seventeen year old who doesn't work for the aquarium feed the orca will be automatically accepted and lead to no problems whatsoever. Game is right, and that is a sin." *ding

"Blackquill asks Phoenix if he's really only in it for the money. This would have been an interesting question of character in another context, but shoving it here feels like it was cut from somewhere else, and just sticks out as odd. Sin for wasted potential." *ding

(Athena splashes Blackquill) "This scene." *removes one sin

"Game spends entirely too much time talking about awkward prints that really aren't that awkward in the first place." *ding

"Athena is entirely too excited to play the role of a sea slug. And now I'm having flashbacks to the disaster that was my elementary school play. Thanks, Athena." *ding

"Damn, mother penguin. You're the closest this case gets to a swearword, even when a character's brains are being pecked out. How do these people censor themselves so effectively? More importantly, why?" *ding

"Phoenix compares Dr. Crab and Rifle's fight to divorce court. Is he implying what I think he's implying? If so, that... gah!" *ding

"Dr. Crab asks the girl in a strange outfit to help him, and both Pearl and Athena seem to know which one of them he was referring to." *ding

"Dr. Crab acts like Azura's ex-boyfriend despite not being Azura's ex-boyfriend. Because we really needed a red herring for this reveal to be a surprise later." *ding

"Hiding illegal activity from lawyers only warrants two Psyche-Locks." *ding

"Between TORPEDO and PONCO, someone is entirely too fond of their supposedly clever acronyms." *ding

"Phoenix presents evidence to Dr. Crab while he's having a serious conversation on the phone. Phoenix is a dick to Dr. Crab." *ding

"How would one sleeping pill knock out a full grown orca? Those pills aren't that big, are they? Especially if their intended use is for humans." *ding

"Hickfield Clinic told Apollo about Azura's heart condition, because fuck patient confidentiality. Even for dead people, that's not legal." *ding

"Pearl is allowed to stay overnight at the aquarium with no resistance whatsoever." *ding

(In court) "Blackquill objects to the belittling of birds. I see he's trying to compete with Victor Kudo for the title of Ace Attorney's resident birdman. Good luck getting past those seeds." *ding

"Fully grown man admits to taking baths instead of showers." *ding

"Scene of inmates slipping and sliding on the bathroom tiles was not included in the final version of this DLC case." *ding

"Son of a gun." *ding

"Blackquill is waaay too excited to see Phoenix 'wield his sword'. Sure beats MY fanfiction." *ding

"Yeah, kick that witness stand! It really deserves it." *ding

"Marlon Rimes doesn't rap this testimony, which means it's bullshit." *ding

"Phoenix spends any time at all thinking about whether or not he will bluff about something." *ding

"Judge gets upset at Rimes for committing perjury in this universe. Did he forget that's not a crime in this world? All I'm saying is, I've never seen anyone punished for it." *ding

"Even Blackquill doesn't understand why casually lying witnesses are allowed to remain on the stand. But I'm wondering why he can't just dismiss the guy, or have his testimony discredited. Surely it's possible to throw testimony out in this universe, right? After all the bullshit these witnesses spew?" *ding

"'It isn't something I claim to understand... but you and Azura Summers were lovers, weren't you!' Sin for that not being in this game. Not even for Metis and Aura." *ding

(Rimes's transformation) "That's not possible, unless Rimes is the Hulk and Capcom forgot to tell me. Damn, when I told them this series needed an Avenger's crossover, this is not what I meant!" *ding

"How did he get that huge fish inside court? He clearly wasn't carrying it earlier, and the barrel contained steroids... or gamma rays." *ding

(Marlon starts eating the fish) "Sushi." *ding

"Rifle Ex Machina." *ding

(Rimes leaks blood like a fountain) "This animation." *ding

"Cross examining an orca. I mean, they could just get Dory. She speaks whale." *ding

"What are the odds that two orca trainers in a row at the same aquarium had the exact same heart condition? Astronomical, you say?" *ding

("My desire to protect my client was standing in the way of the truth") "This sentence was finally uttered in an Ace Attorney game... but not by any of the defense attorneys. Because the only way anyone in this century can get a guilty client is clearly by blackmail. This series avoids that sort of interesting like it's the plague, making this one of the only places the spinoffs have a leg up on them." *ding

(Dr. Crab clues Phoenix into the orca's song) "If you still need to foreshadow things in the eleventh hour of a case, you done fucked up. Just saying." *ding

"Orla's testimony. I pity the stenographer who got assigned this trial." *ding

("I demand serious witness testimony!") "Sorry Blackquill, but... you know you're in a DLC case, right? If it wasn't considered good enough for the main game even though it could fit, there's probably a reason why." *ding

"Franziska gets a single reference in this game, but not an appearance. Did she die in 2020 and no one told the players? Her not showing could make sense for this game, but it does not make sense for the next one, when Edgeworth is short on prosecutors and needs to call in help from other areas. There is no reason for Franziska to be cut from the main series three games in a row. None!" *sin on AJ:AA, DD, and SoJ

"Pearl is allowed to go through Rimes's phone for the trial without a warrant. Because fuck the Fourth Amendment." *ding

"Apps exist in this universe, but not smartphones. I don't care if Spirit of Justice rectifies this issue, I still want to make sure you know that." *ding

"Question: If the lifesaver trick had just been taught to Orla for the new show, why does Rimes have a video of Azura Summers teaching it to Ora? Are you telling me they had this "new trick" lying around for a year, and only now decided to use it for anything? Because if so, that is bullshit." *ding

"Orla's singing sounds nothing like the Swashbuckler Spectacular song. That mammal is tone deaf." *ding

(The Dissin' of Phoenix Wright.) "This testimony." *means to sin, but hits wrong button due to laughing. A sin is removed instead

"Phoenix Wright refuses to sing in this case, but in Spirit of Justice Episode One, he's a full member of the musical cast. What caused such a dramatic transformation over a nine month period?" *ding

"This breakdown is awesome." *removes one sin

"Moral of the story: always make your medical history known to your boyfriend and place of employment before training an orca. Or, if you have a heart condition, don't go into the trainer business or you'll die and come close to causing the death of two animals. Did I get all that right?" *ding

"Series that is obsessed with murder and the occasional suicide every episode sneaks in a story about accidental death. It's... actually, really refreshing." *removes a sin

"Redemption." *removes another sin

"Pearl's role in this games uses up all it's meaningfulness in the DLC case, leaving none for the main game." *ding

"Phoenix has had that fish in his pocket for two days. He must reek at this point. And his dry cleaner hates him." *ding

"Ending narration." *ding

"Why doesn't Ora get a hat, star, and mustache?" *ding

"DePlume has a new book out advocating for the aquarium in just a few months after the case? Someone writes fast." *ding

"Sniper has not aged a day in the few months since the case ended." *ding

 **Total Sin Tally: 130**

 **Sentence: Walking the plank (with the flip flopper)**

* * *

 **A/N's: Whoo hoo! I finally came back and did Turnabout Reclaimed! Thank you to those two reviewers (Mystic LionRoar and Psychochiken) who convinced me, I've been thinking about doing this ever since last year, when I finished Episode Five.  
**

 **And now, as I said in that note I left for everyone, I need to pick another AA game to sin. But I don't know which one to start with. Let me know which game you want sinned next in the comments. The only one off limits, I've decided, is DGS. While I have watched an English sub on YouTube, I'm gonna need at least a fan translation in order to scrutinize the game on a CinemaSins level (which, as you've no doubt noticed, is very nitpicky). It doesn't feel right to criticize the game when I only have a rough translation of what's going on.**

 **Everything else, however, even SoJ and AAI2, is fair game. Thanks for reading, leave your pick below, and I'll see you on the far side!**


End file.
